Welcome to My World!

Christmas 2011 has come & gone...

2011-12-26T13:45:00.000-05:00

The whirlwind that is Christmas prep & family celebration has already come and gone for another year. It all goes by so quickly any more...guess I'm gettin' old!

I probably had more fun and thought more about the blessings in my life this year than I have in many, many years at Christmastime. This is not because there was more "stuff" under the tree or because I bought someone an extravagant gift (or two or three) which I couldn't really afford.

It is because I am able to enjoy:

A new job in the field I've come to love so much in a community which is a terrific fit for me. It sure doesn't hurt that I have much more earning power there, either....SOME of my financial worries will abate somewhat and I should be able to pay for a greater portion of Tori's schooling now, which is a big weight off of my shoulders. I should also be able to save more.
A new attitude of gratitude. I credit a lot of this to my love of change in my life, and my ability to roll with the punches. Yes, some of those punches have knocked me flat at times these past two years; however, I have come out on the other side in much better places.
Family. I have an amazingly supportive, loving family. Doesn't mean we don't ever have our differences - of course we do. It fills my heart up, though, to know that they always have my back and I, theirs. My brothers and sister, and their spouses and kids (and those kids' spouses) are so important and special to me, and it was such bright joy to spend Christmas Day itself all gathered at Kev & Sonja's celebrating, catching up, and just enjoying being together.
Friends such as no one should have a right to have. Again, the support and love from my friends, some back in my life after decades (thanks to Facebook), some with whom I've been friends since I was 6 or 7, some who have come into my life more recently but with such love it catches me off guard, is truly something for which I am overwhelmingly grateful. They check up on me, help me with the 4-legged family members when I need help, offer me a shoulder when the tears flow, and just love me unconditionally.
Tori. What more can I say? She's sometimes judgmental and gives me the "MOM!" look more often than I like, but she is such a joy to me. Such talent in that girl - and she keeps on rebounding from disappointments and rejections in a way I don't think I ever could. I am so glad to be her mother <3

So come on in, 2012...give me what you've got! I'm ready and looking forward to another wonderful year of chaos!

Comfort & Joy, Sister-style

2011-12-10T08:40:00.001-05:00

Going to baby myself a bit today....over-did things yesterday and my ankle is screaming at me, so today it's R-I-C-E all over again to try to get this pain under control.

relaxin' in my KN pj's chosen with LOVE!

When I woke up today, I found my very favorite, 13 year old jammies to don. They're Karen Neuburger in a washed-out plum color with a leaf pattern, still soft and comfy after all of these years. My amazing sister, Claudia, gave them to me back in 1998 when I was going through treatment for thyroid cancer. She gave me two sets, and while the other one (with adorable snowmen on it) wore out several years ago, these are still going strong, just as I :)

These jammies bring me so much comfort and joy - every time I put them on, I remember how much love went into selecting them for me. When you no longer have a thyroid and have to be off meds for weeks in order to prep for ablation therapy/treatment, you are always cold...chattering teeth cold. Claudia wanted me to be wrapped in warmth, and so she gifted me with these amazing warm, indulgent pj's. She also gifted me with the unquestionable knowledge that she loves me more than anyone has a right to be loved. For this, I am eternally grateful.

As I wear the jammies and nurse my health issues of another type today, I will carry her love around with me. As I take time to indulge my creativity and make more cards and tags, I will feel her influence, guidance, and love enveloping me and know that she is proud of me and my accomplishments. And I will, always, love her back!

Winding down and starting up

2011-12-09T09:00:00.001-05:00

Well, my two week hiatus from work is winding down...it's been nice, but I'm ready to begin my new adventure at Sunrise Senior Living at Tuckerman Lane. My ankle sprain forced me to be a bit more sedentary and introspective than I'd planned, but that may have been divine intervention to force me to just BE. Gotta run down to the new facility today for some pre-employment detail stuff, and then Chicks' Night Out at Donna's for Raclette, wine, friends, and board/card game fun. Can't wait to laugh and just hang out with these four amazing women. I think that the photo below is about 8 years old, but we haven't changed all THAT much since then :)

Here's to a Friday full of everything joyful!

Just added to BlogHer!

2011-12-07T10:20:00.001-05:00

So, I finally, a year after discovering BlogHer and subscribing, updated my profile and added my blog to their directory. Yay! Going to spend some time today surfing through their offerings and bookmarking some other womens' blogs for ideas and inspiration.

Check out BlogHer!

So far, my blog topics have been mostly related to politics, my pride in Tori's accomplishments, creative pursuits, and musings about the mundane & every-day. I have often been told that I write as I talk....quickly, knee-jerk, and with some humor sprinkled in. You'll have to tell me if you agree!

a few things on my mind....

2011-12-06T20:50:00.001-05:00

1) T-Mobile really needs to fix their holiday-themed ad...."Walking in a 4G Wonderland" truly, truly sounds like "Walkin' in an orgy wonderland." No matter how many times I hear it.

T Mobile's 4G Wonderland (or is it Orgy Wonderland?!??!)

2) Saw a promo for a new show on ABC premiering soon - about two guys who dress up like women to get jobs. Hasn't this been done multiple times before? Aren't there any original ideas?

ABC's Work It - Really?

3) I bought a lot of fresh ingredients at Wegman's tonight to make several delicious soups & stews so we have healthy meals ready to go when I start the job with the commute from hades. Will spend the next couple of days making stuff in the crockpot and stockpot. And the house will smell divine!

4) Have plans for the next several nights with family and friends. Feel so very blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life. I know I say this a lot, but it's true. It never ceases to amaze me.

I am so glad to have the ability to type what I'm thinking, even if it's pretty mundane. Sometimes, it's just the process of getting stuff on paper that starts creativity flowing.

Forced laziness

2011-12-05T08:58:00.001-05:00

Well, I know that when I'm at home, I'm basically lazy, but this is ridiculous....so many things I wanted to get done in between jobs and I've spent the last 5 days laid up with a sprained ankle. pretty, huh? God sure has a weird sense of humor!

I am able to put weight on it now, so maybe my dining and living room will get cleaned today. Tori can help get decorations up. It's onward and upward!

my feet/ankles aren't all that attractive normally, but this is ridiculous!

Holiday Card Boot Camp Days 4 & 5

2011-11-12T20:44:00.001-05:00

Wow, so much inspiration! So many cool techniques and "toys".... Must. Use. What. I. Have. On. Hand..... (yea, right!).

For the most part, I've stayed true to wanting to use what I have and not buy exactly what the pros are using/what's on the class supply list. I did make a trip to Michael's, A.C. Moore, and my local scrapbooking supply store, PhotoScraps, this week to get a few "must HAVE's", such as the Tim Holtz Distress Inks in the limited edition Holiday colors and the Martha Steward Dove punch. Just had to have them!

I believe the dove card is probably going to be the one I "mass produce" for the majority of people this year. It's elegantly simple and doesn't take a lot of time to put together, but is still handmade and gorgeous (If I do say so myself!) It was originally designed as a card into which a holiday letter could be fit, but I doubt I'll do that...most likely it will look just as it does in the photo below.

Hope you're enjoying viewing my work as much as I'm having fun creating it!

Holiday Card Boot Camp - Day 3!

2011-11-10T05:47:00.000-05:00

This is a technique I've done before but use way too infrequently - dry embossing. This time, the space around the embossed snowflakes is heat embossed and the snowflakes themselves are sanded & inked, making them "pop". The bird in the circle window is actually a cupcake topper I found at World Market - there are also stars, reindeer, and something else in the package. I love finding items not typically meant for paper crafting and incorporating them into my projects!

This is probably my favorite card so far. Today is day 4 so I'll be using those ideas as I create tonight...about to go watch the videos...wonder what treat is awaiting?!?!

Holiday Boot Camp Day 2

2011-11-08T19:24:00.001-05:00

I am not a big photo card maker, so instead of using a photograph, I took a holiday-themed napkin, decoupaged it to cardstock, and took it from there. It's pretty close to the sample, but enough different that it's my own. It was also really easy to make and didn't take a ton of time - I think this may be a staple for my cards this year, for some special people on my card list.

I haven't sent cards the past two years, so if I manage to get at least 40-50 in the mail this year I'll be really happy. Putting work into making my own ups the odds substantially, I think :)

2011-11-07T20:49:00.004-05:00

Holiday Card Boot Camp: Day 1

Card made following Kristina's tutorial....

I'm rather happy with how it turned out! :)

card making boot camp day 1

2011-11-07T06:47:00.001-05:00

Just watched the how-to videos for the Holiday card boot camp day 1 and I am really inspired to make more of my Holiday cards this year. The past few Christmas Seasons have been full of melancholy for me as I muddled through my separation and divorce and our family dynamic changed drastically as Tori graduated from high school and moved on to college/other adventures.

Now, I am feeling a new energy and a renewed sense of the value of self. Let the Holiday Season begin, 2011 - I am ready for you!

Starting new things left & right!

2011-11-06T17:53:00.001-05:00

I'm starting an amazing creative endeavor tomorrow - an online card making class! Taught by the amazingly talented Jennifer McGuire & Kristina Werner, it will help me grow my artistic side to new levels, and I am so excited! I made a few cards today as thank-you's to some new folks I met, to tell them I appreciate the time they've taken with me to help me figure out what I want in a career and a work day. It felt wonderful to be creative and work with color and design.

Look out world - I'm ready for BIG things!!!

Parenthood at 3:30 a.m.

2011-09-24T05:02:00.003-04:00

Parenthood, both the actual being a parent and the show on NBC, are pure joy these days, sprinkled with a bit of angst and frustration.

Tori continues to amaze me. I know I'm her mom, and I'm supposed to be proud and love her beyond words, but - wow. She weathered a summer full of rejection and down-time, at times questioning what on earth she was supposed to be doing with her life (as all of us do from time to time). Now, moving into the autumn months, she has hit her stride. Working two part time jobs - one in food service and one in retail - as well as performing in a cult-classic musical show for which she was specifically recruited - she is so busy her head is spinning. But she is finally loving life again. And it's wonderful to behold.

The Braverman clan of NBC's Parenthood is also back this fall, and I am once again hooked. These characters feel like members of my family, which is to say that they're both immeasurably special/worthy of love and frustrating at times. I've never seen so many issues confronted at once by television characters. Christina is wound so tightly she may explode at any moment. Her love for her family, especially her children, is admirable, but does she have to be so anxious about everything? I just want to give her some xanax and a glass of wine! Others who I am both fascinated by and want to smack this season include Hattie, Julia, Adam, and Crosby. And what's with Sarah, having even one iota of a doubt about getting involved with Jason Ritter's character?? Duh!

It may seem silly to blog about a tv show, but I am trying to just write, at least a little, every today. On this, my 48th birthday, I am going to start blogging every day, even if it's one sentence or one paragraph. I have projects I want to re-open, and things I need to write. In order to move forward, I need to write daily.

So, here goes....

Weekend adventures

2011-08-07T18:35:00.003-04:00

This has been a good weekend - a good mix of relaxing, work around the house, and family time. For the first time in a good while, Tori and I spent the bulk of Saturday and Sunday together, which was really nice.

Saturday, we took Lucy into Downtown Frederick for First Saturday's Dog Days. While we had wanted to dress her up in her Ariel costume, she's outgrown it, so we dropped by PetSmart and got her a cute little tie-dye style t-shirt and some bows to put in her ears. She looked adorable! She wasn't nearly the best costumed dog there - many were simply adorable and very creative. We especially loved the young girl there with her two golden retrievers - they all had matching leg warmers and headbands. Still, we had a great time just walking around and "ooh-ing and aah-ing" at all the adorable dogs.

Today (Sunday), we just hung out at home. Highlights included laughing until I thought I'd puke as Tori read exerpts from a website with auto-corrected texts. They were ridiculous! Then we worked together to make my mom's (Grammy's) cabbage & dumplings for dinner. That was a really nice experience. We've been laughing a lot together today. I am remembering why I love being a mom!

So, now it's on to a new week. Ugh!

been a long time, but this article is so important...

2011-08-05T05:31:00.003-04:00

I know it's been a long time since I posted, but someone sent me this yesterday and I feel it's so accurate and so important to share. I may have different political views than some of my friends. However, I believe that this article is relevant whether you have a (D), (R), or (I) after your name.

Arrogance of being President while being Black

I don't think anyone was under some real illusion that the election ofBarack Obama actually means the end of racism in America . I'm pretty sure that the president-elect knew it better than anyone. After all, he saw it
every day, from the moment he announced his candidacy. To some degree, he saw it within his own party during the primaries. And he saw it in all ugliness during the general election. For half of this country, he was
"That One". No matter how big and clear his victory was. No matter how smart he is. No matter how decent he is. No matter what a true patriot he is. No matter how optimistic and positive his vision for America was. All
that didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, he was still black.

I'm quite old. I remember, vaguely, where my parents were on November 22,1963. I've seen so many presidents. Some were feared, some were hated,some were adored, some popular and some not. But all of them, without exception, were treated with the highest respect deserving the office of the president of the United States .

That is until a black man won the right to occupy this office. It's been13 months now, and in the eyes of so many, Barack Obama is still that one. He is being disrespected and at the same time being held to the highest
standard of any president I've ever seen – and not just by the Republican side! He has to perform three times better than any president in history,and even that may not be enough.

For the media, he is many more times just "Obama" than "President Obama".hey create scandals out of nothing issues. It took them at least 6 years to start giving Bush a small part of the shit he deserved. It took them 6months to begin crap all over Obama because he's yet to fix the catastrophe that was left for him.

They use condescending tones when they talk about him, and only mildly less condescending when they talk TO him. With anyone else, CNN wouldn't dare go to commercials every time the president speaks, like they did
during that summit on Thursday. They wouldn't dare be counting how many minutes George Bush or Bill Clinton were talking. Chris Mathews wouldn't dare make an issue out of Ronald Regan calling members of congress by
their first name, like he is not actually the president. They fully cooperate with the Right-Wing smear machine when it comes to presidentObama's national security performance – even if almost every independent
and military expert actually thinks that he's a terrific Commander-in-Chief. You'll never see them on TV, and virtually no one from the Left, in congress and outside, defend the president on this matter.

I don't care about the Far-Right. They're just crazy ignorant Neanderthals. It's the way the beltway and the mainstream treats this president that is shocking. On Thursday, almost every Republican had no trouble interrupting him in the middle of a sentence. They looked like they're going to vomit every time they had to say "Mr. president". They all had this Eric-Cantor-Smirk whenever he spoke. Then they went out and
started to spit their stupid talking points, to the delight of the media. Sarah Palin, a woman who can hardly read, thinks that he was "arrogant" towards John McCain, and somehow this is an important news. Because you
see, "Obama's Arrogance" is the talking point of the day.

Oh, those talking points. He is arrogant (because he knows the facts better than all of them combined). He is an elitist (because he uses big words that they don't understand). He is weak on national security (because he actually thinks about the consequences). He divides the country (well, he did that the day he had the audacity to win the election). Worst of all, he actually thinks that he's the president. He even dared to say so on Thursday. How arrogant of him. You'd think that previous presidents didn't have any ego. Somehow it turned out that the one president who treats even his biggest opponents with the utmost respect – is the arrogant one. I wonder why?

I expected that his winning the Presidency would bring out some ugliness, but it's been far worse than I imagined. The racism coming from the Right is obviously clear and shameless, but there's also some hidden and maybe subconscious and disturbing underline tone behind some of the things that I read here and throughout the Left blogosphere, even before the end of Obama's first year - 'He's weak, he's spineless, he's got no balls, primary him in 2012'. It'll be dishonest to deny that.

The fact is that for millions in America, Barack Obama is this uppity black man (Not even a "real" black), who received good education only due to affirmative action, and has no right to litter the sacred Oval Office
with his skin color. They just can't accept the fact that the president is a black man, who unlike his predecessor, was actually legally elected. But what's really sad is that it's not just the fringe, its deep in mainstream America .

Barack Obama's ability to remain above all this slob, to keep his optimism and his strange and mostly unjustified faith in people, while continuing to gracefully deal with an endless shitstorm – is one of the
most inspiring displays of human quality I have ever seen. And I can only hope that the Cosmos is on his side because God is and He never makes a mistake.

Sometimes, they make me feel ashamed to be a white man!!

Retribution & Justice, or Murder & Revenge?

2011-04-24T07:13:00.004-04:00

This has been a difficult week for me, in more ways than one. Probably most difficult was hearing the news on The TODAY Show on Thursday that one of Tori's LHS '10 classmates is charged with first degree murder down in Ocala FL, in a horrific crime. She was one of 6 people who participated in a scheme to torture and murder a 15-year old boy, then burn and dispose of his charred remains in paint cans. Truly unimaginable.

This young woman is 18, same as my sweet daughter. She had many of the same teachers in our school system as Tori, many of the same acquaintances, many of the same role models. She has loving adoptive parents, family members who raised her and her siblings as their own children to give her a better chance at a productive life. These adoptive parents have to be so terribly devastated - I can't even imagine.

Tori is now living down in FL, not too terribly far from where this classmate aided & abetted in this terrible murder. She is hearing, both out and around and on local news, that many people feel that these 6 people who took the 15 year old's life, should "hang in public," "be shot and tortured while we all watch," "burn at the stake," and "die a horrible death - kill 'em!"

I thank God that, though I was raised to support the Death Penalty and see criminals' lives as worth less than spit, as an adult I have come to realize that state-sanctioned killing is no more just than cold-blooded murder. The legal process to put someone to death is lengthy, costly, and cruel - not only to the accused (or actual) perpetrator(s), but also to those who loved the victim. It breeds hatred and loathing, depression and guilt, and really does not deter other people in society from committing crimes that may carry the death penalty as punishment. My parents, even my mom who was one of the most kind and generous people I've ever met, believed that our tax dollars should not be spent to feed, clothe, house and even educate prisoners accused of more heinous crimes. Thus, I believed this, too.

Then, I became a parent. Bruce and I did our very best to raise Tori with compassion, a strong sense of right & wrong, a sense of selflessness, and the knowledge that if she based her life on the Golden Rule - corny as it may seem - she'd have opportunities to a happy and fulfilling life. So far, so good. Thank God she has (mostly) understood and lived by the principles we hold dear. I mean, we're all only human. We make bad decisions, probably more often than we'd ever like to admit. Some of those bad decisions have serious consequences. I feel truly blessed that Tori has grown into a beautiful, moral, productive adult. What made her "get it," and Charlie not?

Charlie Ely's bad decisions have led to a first degree murder charge in a state which sanctions the Death Penalty. I have never known her well, but nonetheless, she is a mere 18 year old raised with the same principles taught to her as we taught our 18 year old. No matter how heinous the crime, she does not deserve to die to set an example or satisfy society's desire for revenge.

Capital Punishment is not a deterrent - and it is horribly expensive to society, both in terms of financial and moral bankruptcy:

According to a survey of the former and present presidents of the country's top academic criminological societies, 88% of experts rejected the notion that the death penalty acts as a deterrent to murder. (Radelet & Lacock, 2009)

The exorbitant costs of capital punishment are actually making America less safe because badly needed financial and legal resources are being diverted from effective crime fighting strategies. Before the Los Angeles riots, for example, California had little money for innovations like community policing, but was managing to spend an extra $90 million per year on capital punishment. Texas, with over 300 people on death row, is spending an estimated $2.3 million per case, but its murder rate remains one of the highest in the country. (NOTE: The LA Riots began the night Tori was born, in the same year as Charlie)

The high price of the death penalty is often most keenly felt in those counties responsible for both the prosecution and defense of capital defendants. A single trial can mean near bankruptcy, tax increases, and the laying off of vital personnel. Trials costing a small county $100,000 from unbudgeted funds are common and some officials have even gone to jail in resisting payment.

Human rights advocates and civil libertarians continue to decry the immorality of state-sanctioned killing in the U.S., the only western industrialized country that continues to use the death penalty.

Further, the death penalty is not necessary to achieve the benefit of protecting the public from murderers who may strike again. Locking murderers away for life achieves the same goal without requiring us to take yet another life. Nor is the death penalty necessary to ensure that criminals "get what they deserve." Justice does not require us to punish murder by death. It only requires that the gravest crimes receive the severest punishment that our moral principles would allow us to impose.
FINALLY:
While it is clear that the death penalty is by no means necessary to achieve certain social benefits, it does, without a doubt, impose grave costs on society. First, the death penalty wastes lives. Many of those sentenced to death could be rehabilitated to live socially productive lives. Carrying out the death penalty destroys any good such persons might have done for society if they had been allowed to live. Furthermore, juries have been known to make mistakes, inflicting the death penalty on innocent people. Had such innocent parties been allowed to live, the wrong done to them might have been corrected and their lives not wasted.

What galls me most is that many of those calling for these young peoples' blood to spill are likely anti-choice. They most likely would have done all possible to protect these 6 peoples' lives in vitro, but now that they're born and have made extremely poor choices in the most heinous sense, these anti-choice want their lives snuffed out.

I'm sorry, but this is not justice. It is not retribution. IT IS MURDER. And why is it ok for us, as a society, in MY name and the name of others I love, to kill when we consider killing to be the most serious of crimes? Makes absolutely no sense to me. Never will.

Today is Easter Sunday. Christians just spent a week of introspection, asking God to forgive their human frailties, to shower them with Grace. Jesus' death and Resurrection have given us all hope. My greatest hope is that Charlie finds her way back into productive society. When it is her time to die, she'll face the greatest Judge she'll ever face. I pray that she makes things right and accepts His greatest gift: forgiveness, granted if only it's requested.

And while I certainly don't understand why or how she could have ever made the choices she's made, I wish for her the love of her family and of God, that such love will rehabilitate her heart and soul. And that such love will keep Florida from taking her life in a misbegotten attempt to "make things right." Killing is NEVER right.

Croneyism at its worst

2011-01-20T18:38:00.002-05:00

Bush I and his cronies met today and are still lying about the first and second (and continuing) Gulf Wars. It is amazing me, seeing them around a table being interviewed by Brian Williams on NBC's Nightly News, lying with no compunction, some even contradicting the lies of others. And Cheney smirking his now more skeletal evil smirk all the while. It all makes me sick.

The first war was about oil, no doubt about it. The 2nd, junior's way of avenging his daddy's attempted assassination. Interesting that Cheney was in a bunker as the planes hit on 9-11, as if he was expecting it? It all just drives me nuts. I know this is rambling and a bit paranoid, but come on - Bush, Cheney, Baker, and even Colin Powell, 20 years later, still trying to pull the wool over the Nation's eyes. Truly disappointing.

And so, Thanksgiving-palooza 2010 Begins!!!

2010-11-20T10:10:00.003-05:00

Tori's home! Up in her room, in bed, sleeping. Lucy is snoozing on the sofa beside me, and It's Academic is on the TV. If Urbana weren't playing, it would be a perfect morning :)

Today will be a hang around home day, then "It's a Wonderful Wreath" at Daybreak Adult Daycare this evening and maybe some gettin' wild with Anne from up the street after that. Tori may be headed up to the Mount to visit Maggie, and I'm sure these next few days she's going to try to catch up with as many friends as possible.

Wednesday bright and EARLY, we head off to catch the MegaBus to NYC!!! YEEHA! A once-in-a-lifetime few days to see the Rockettes, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and The Big Apple on Black Friday. Starting to think I am insane to have even planned this, but it's done now. No turning back!

So, here's to kids home from college, houses full of love & laughter, and road trips! Stay tuned.... !

Take a look at this commentary - it is so on the mark!

2010-11-16T07:53:00.001-05:00

President Obama - Political Commentary - Humor - Senior Living Magazine

Treasures found while cleaning my scrapbooking space!

2010-11-14T11:02:00.005-05:00

I am finding all sorts of "lost" items while organizing/cleaning my spaces this weekend. Probably the most fun item is a paper I wrote while a Senior at Hood for my course in "The American Presidency" with Dr. Elfin.

The paper is titled "Significance: It Was Time for a Change" - and it has additional significance to me now, at this point in my life:

I was working on writing this paper when I met Bruce. I turned it in on December 12, 1984, and I met him on December 1, 1984. I distinctly remember talking with him about the subject matter - the Presidential race between Adali Stevenson and Dwight D. Eisenhower in 1952. It's when we knew that we were, at least, compatible on the level of politics!
As I read through my work, I am blown away by the similarities between how the US was dealing with issues such as wartime (Korea), the economy, and blatantly ferocious "patriotism" being bandied about by the conservative right in order to make the left look unpatriotic.
Stevenson lost by a landslide to Eisenhower. I am praying that during the next Presidential election, history does NOT repeat itself as it seems to do over & over again. Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again but expecting a different result must have been a soothsayer - We, as a people in general, are truly acting as if we are INSANE!

I got an A- on the paper. It is yellowing within its plastic report cover, and was typed on a Selectric typewriter rather than on a computer. It features hand-numbered pages and a handwritten chart on the last page of the Appendix highlighting the percentages of the populous who voted for each candidate, broken down by gender, race, education, occupation, age, religion, political party, and region of the US. It is extremely interesting, if I do say so myself!

Here is my concluding paragraph - I had to laugh when I read it-26 years haven't changed me much!

"As I began to put together an overall picture of the campaign and election in my mind and on paper, I began to feel that the American people had been cheated out of a very fine, intelligent President in Stevenson.....I have come to realize throughout The American Presidency course and through writing this paper that politics and the political road to the Presidency are one huge game of chance, luck, money, and personality - I saw that this year in the Reagan/Mondale race and my ideas were enforced by my research on the Eisenhower/Stevenson race of 1952."

And here are Dr. Elfin's notes on my work:

"I like this paper and rate it well-researched & presented. I would, however, have emphasized (another contrast-compare with Reagan/Mondale) the ferocious patriotism and negative quality of the GOP campaign which soon turned into McCarthyism."

WOW - see where we're headed? If McCarthyism doesn't scare people and wake them up/help them become less insane, I don't know what would!!! And see why I loved studying Political Science at Hood? I loved Dr. Elfin, Dr. Lewis (God rest her soul), Dr. McKnight, Dr. Latkovski, and my other PoliSci/History profs. God, how I loved Hood in the 1980's!!!

Making Progress

2010-09-20T19:40:00.002-04:00

I can tell I'm moving forward toward my fitness goals. Tonight, on a 2 mile walk with Lucy, we climbed an approximately 20 degree uphill route out of Unionville - had me huffin' and puffin' a bit as I tried to keep my pace at a decent clip. As we leveled out, I saw a rather nice downhill, maybe at a 35 degree drop, just ahead of me. The old me, even just two weeks ago, would've said "forget it - I've done one hill, I'm tired, I'm turning around!" But the "new" me said "OK, I'll go down this big hill plus a bit further, even though it means I'll have to climb the incline to head back home." I pushed myself further than I thought I could go, and when I turned around and approached the base of that 35 degree hill, instead of whining about it, I chanted "the hill is my friend" over and over until I reached the top. Then, baby, it was all downhill from there! SUCCESS!

Poor Lucy was panting, her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth. But she seemed overall energized by the exercise, too. My legs didn't feel numb or heavy when I was done, either. So I'm more confident about tomorrow night's workout now that I challenged myself a bit and survived.

I'm starting to see this challenge as a metaphor for my life post-divorce and only child off to college. I am not just going to survive - I am going to thrive. I am not going to let sore muscles, wind sprints, or hills defeat me, damn it! I am going to conquer my fears and my attitude that I am too old, too out of shape, to become healthy. I am going to WIN!

Frederick Wellness Challenge, Week 1

2010-09-16T21:12:00.002-04:00

So, the 2010 Fall Frederick Wellness Challenge began on Saturday, September 11th up at Upward Enterprises on the grounds of the Bishop Claggett Center. We went, we saw, we conquered the steep woodland trails, the meadow-based team sprints, and, finally the zip line (and the hike back up that damn steep woodland trail - again!). I hadn't known to expect such an intense physical experience, which is a good thing - I doubt I'd have signed up if I had!

Session 2 with Evy, our trainer, I had to miss due to electioneering for Michele on Election Day. When I got to Session 3 this evening at Baker Park, it was raining a steady, cool rain. I was the 3rd person to arrive, and the other two people were talking about how sore they were from Tuesday. Grrrrreeeeaaattt....I thought. And they're both fit-looking. Crap. Am I going to be able to do this?

As others arrived, all were talking about how much pain they were in. Their quads, their calves, their backs, their abs....hurting. I started to panic. Seriously, what was I DOING there?!??! Evy arrived, and confirmed that yes, we would be exercising in the park in the rain from 7-8 p.m. No crybabies allowed (she didn't say that, but I knew that to be true!).

Sure enough, we started with a warm-up walk in the rain, around the perimeter of Baker Park. Many were running, some jogging. I started out trotting, and finished up walking at a race pace. Then time for wall squats and jumping jacks. Oh joy. Then over to the tennis courts, where the REAL fun began. We had to do sprints, in teams of two...but then, we had to lay down - YES, IN THE PUDDLES IN THE RAIN! - and do planks. We were all soaking wet, and my glasses were impossible to see through. we continued - squats, squat side shuffles (football style), push ups, and lat push ups. I couldn't see anything at all and I was pretty damn miserable. BUT, I was doing it!

We finished up with a walk back to the bandshell all around the park as a cool down, then some stretches. It was probably the most miserable hour of exercise I've ever completed, yet somehow I feel a huge sense of accomplishment. My hair was dripping, my clothes were sopping wet, and my ego was drowning because I saw just how behind the group I am in terms of keeping up. But I was out there. I WAS OUT THERE!!!

On my drive home, I had to give myself a major pep talk. I know I'm going to be wicked sore on Saturday morning when the next workout is scheduled. I know my bed is going to be awfully comfy at 6 a.m. when I will have to get out of it to head to the 7 a.m. workout. I know that I am going to be cursing Evy up one side and down the other. I know I am going to still feel intimidated by the abilities of the others in the challenge.

I also know, and I am telling myself every 10 seconds, that I AM NOT GOING TO BE A QUITTER ON THIS!!! I have quit so many things. I have a reputation in my family and among my friends as someone who starts a lot but finishes few things. Quitters don't reach goals. I am going to succeed during this challenge and finish it. I am NOT going to quit!

some observations

2010-09-09T19:17:00.005-04:00

Driving through Virginia & North Carolina last Friday on my way to Myrtle Beach, I couldn't help but notice several things:

There's a church every 10th of a mile, I swear. I have to agree with my friend Martha's son who opined, when they moved down to Florence, SC 6 years ago, "Mom, the Christians here must not get along very well since they have so many different churches - can't they just worship together?!?!?"
People down there drive fast - REALLY fast! And very recklessly. People were passing me on double yellow lines on two lane roads with blind spots. Scary!
The best route, as noted by Google Maps, really is through some of the most quaint little towns I've ever seen - it was a beautiful drive (when I wasn't in fear for my life from the insane drivers!)
Myrtle Beach is a looooonng way from home, but every mile became more than worth it when I got hugs from Manny & Martha!

Good friends are absolutely the best tonic for what ails you. We laughed, reminisced, looked at old photos Manny had the forethought to bring along, took lots of new photos with three cameras AND three camera phones, and drank lots of wine & tropical drinks - but never got drunk!

I also came to the very sharp realization that what I miss about having a spouse, what I miss about being in love, about being in a relationship, is affection. I miss someone looking at me with love in his eyes. I miss knowing that if something happened to me, I'd be mourned by the person with whom I am more close than anyone else on this earth. I miss cuddling while watching a DVD, sweet soft kisses, and the anticipation of reuniting when one of us has been away for awhile. All of those things had been missing for so very many years during the last half of my marriage, at least. How sad that is, now that I see it in black & white.

That being said, the realization of what I have was just as jarring - I have friends with whom my relationship, despite many years apart, has blossomed and bloomed as beautifully as ever. I had that last summer when George reunited with Sam and me for our MSG reunion, and I experienced it again in living color this past weekend. My friendships, both long-term and newer, are my salvation.

I have friends of all ages, ethnicities, spiritual beliefs, body types, and orientations. I have friends who give THE BEST HUGS in all the universe! I have friends who love me for who I am, despite the fact that I'm 100 lbs overweight and I snore monstrously at night (and Martha managed to share a room with me for three nights!). I don't need a spouse who scorned me because of these things, who abandoned me when I wasn't the 23 year old girl he married. I don't need to feel guilty for being me. My friends love me no matter what. What a relief! What a blessing! What a gift!

So, though I miss romantic affection and some of the trappings of a serious romantic relationship, I don't miss love. Because it surrounds me, always, near or far. If you're reading this and I am fortunate enough to call you my friend, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you!!!

Phone call from a candidate for Delegate!!

2010-09-01T20:30:00.003-04:00

I just got off of the phone with Ryan Trout, a very enthusiastic candidate for Delegate in District 4A here in Frederick County. He told me about his platform, which can be seen on his website at www.troutfordelegate.com

Think about voting for him if you want small businesses to prosper, our children to graduate from high school with a strong foundation and confidence to pursue the career of their choice (be it a trade or a field requiring a 4-year degree or more), and accountability of elected officials to the people who elect them.

of organizing, cleaning, and lawncare

2010-08-29T11:29:00.003-04:00

such a boring topic, you say? Oh, to the contrary...

Organizing: I have a lot of crap. A.Lot.Of.Crap.!!! And a very small house. Much of the crap has to go (hence the yard sale scheduled for 9/25 - come buy my crap, and my brother's!). I've spent time over the past few days sorting stuff out and throwing a lot away. It's amazing how much I "needed" when I purchased it vs. how much I need it now! The purging of nonessential stuff feels very purifying. I like it!

Cleaning: UGH! I am having to learn not to fear spiders or earwigs - there are a plethora of both in my basement! Over the past year, I've had a stockpile of boxes gather in the corners, and they are now broken down and in the recycling bin where they belong.

The big surprise when I went down to the basement this morning: A garment rack that's been by the basement door for storage/hanging of jackets & sweaters was in a heap on the floor, with various & sundry large items of clothing in said heap with it. And the aforementioned boxes added to the mess. What the....??? Someone obviously broke the damn thing and neglected to mention it to me. I believe that someone is now safely ensconced in a dorm in Harrisonburg, VA, now safe from my yelling. Or in a Salisbury apartment. The basement door was locked by the knob, which I have never done for fear of getting locked out. This means that someone who does not have a key left via that door after the carnage. Again, points to a teenager.

I've now dismantled the rack (which was going to be used for yardsale, dammit) and cleaned up the clothing. Swept - and found a boatload of creepy-crawlies. Had to squish a lot and keep on going, despite the fact that my skin was crawling and I still feel as if I have bugs crawling up my neck. Ugh. But I feel a major sense of accomplishment, which brings me to....

Lawn: My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were here yesterday and got my push mower working again. God Bless Mem, who weeded the back pavers and helped get stuff hosed down. While Matt & Mem took a truckload of stuff to Kit's, Kevin mowed more of my lawn and I used the now working leafblower to get all of the various and sundry dead grass, leaves, and sticks off of the deck, driveway, and pavers. Then I round-upped the weeds in the cracks. My house doesn't look like the blight on the neighborhood anymore!!! Yay!

So, I will go into a new week fresh and focused on making it to Friday and Myrtle Beach - Here's to getting things done and reclaiming one's environment!

God's hand and changes

2010-08-26T13:07:00.005-04:00

Well, today is my first day as an empty-nester. Plus I spent an hour at my lawyer's office this morning finalizing my divorce, which will be truly, truly final in about 30-60 days. The legal process takes time, even when things are mutual and uncontested, it seems.

So, on the way home from running errands, I got behind a schoolbus. It was about noon, so I figured it was either empty on its way to wait to get the HS students around 2:30, or it had 1/2 day preschoolers aboard.

sure enough, the flashers went on, and the bus stopped. A young mom with a toddler in her arms approached, camera in her free hand ready and aimed at the bus doors. A tow-headed 4 year old launched herself onto the driveway from the bus steps and ran toward mom and brother. Her enthusiasm and excitement were so evident. Her backpack was nearly bigger than she, and she was practically bouncing up the driveway.

I burst into tears. Wasn't it just last week I was greeted by Tori off of the Kindergarden bus in a similar fashion? It can't have been 13 YEARS ago! Funny, but I felt the hand of God once again, reminding me to savor each moment, as the moments go by so quickly. My tow-headed 4 year old is now a raven-haired 18 year old beauty. She hugged me goodbye yesterday outside of Shorts Hall at JMU and I told her how very proud I am of her. I didn't cry then, and was very proud of that, as I didn't want to get her upset. I made up for it this afternoon!

Now for a nice, relaxing nap!

changing my mind, changing my body

2010-08-19T20:07:00.002-04:00

Went for my first chiropractic adjustment ever today. Dr. Rashidian went over my x-rays and thermal scans with me, and I have a lot of nerve interference in my neck and in my lower back. So much so that four of my vertebrae, two in each area of my spine (upper & lower) are in danger of fusing, which is NOT good thing.

So the adjustment immediately took the ache out of my neck. Amazing. I am now a believer. Over the long term, I'm hoping it helps my exhaustion, my appetite, and my overall wellness to improve. Big downside is that my insurance doesn't cover it. So I have to figure out how to afford it in my tighter budget. But I'm going to have to figure it out.

Wellness Challenge begins on September 11th, and I'm gearing up. Stay tuned!!!

moving forward

2010-08-17T18:05:00.002-04:00

I went to see Dr. Rashidian this afternoon and his comment when seeing my self assessment form - "wow - you've checked a lot of things off as health issues!" I was embarrassed, but also relieved that maybe I am going to get some answers. After a series of x-rays, thermal scans, and range of motion tests, I feel as if maybe I'm moving forward on the road to wellness at last. I go back in on the 19th to get the results. I'm nervous, but also hopeful.

After I left his office, I stopped into a cool new store (well, new to me - they've been there almost a year!) in downtown Frederick, Accessories of Old. Owner Andrew Mainz was there and he was very charming and funny. I bought some really cool paper flowers with antique buttons & crystals in their centers for cards & scrapbook pages, but didn't buy half of what caught my eye. So many cool pins, old-style hair barrettes & clips, and cloth appliques that resembled those that used to adorn my sundresses and jumpsuits back when mom made some of my clothes. It really is a cool shop - I strongly recommend that, if you're creative or crafty at all, you stop in the next time you're downtown. You can visit their website at www.accessoriesofold.com. He has a blog, too!

So I have an unplanned evening this evening, which is really, really nice! I do have a lot to get done, such as laundry, but I don't feel much like being productive....we'll see what wins - laziness or productivity.

Being Whacked in the Head by God

2010-08-15T09:56:00.002-04:00

OK, so....

I am always wanting to do things and then not doing them because I'm too tired, too stressed, too something. But after a very rough two weeks in my personal and work life, I decided to actually do two things that I wanted to:

1) Go to Friday at Four, a networking opportunity at Danielle's restaurant sponsored by Frederick270 Magazine & other local businesses.

2) Go see "DonQ" at the MET Saturday night, to support some of my favorite local thespians (notably Karli Cole & Wilson Seltzer, though I found that many other kids I love were also in the show!)

At Friday's event, in addition to the typical networking, there was a 15 minute presentation by a local chiropractor, Dr. Amir Rashidian, on stress and how we can gain control over our negative reactions to it in order to improve our over-all wellbeing and lives. He made a lot of sense! He also offered a free wellness screening to anyone there. Afterward, I signed myself up to see him on Tuesday, 8/17 and get an honest, real picture of the damage I've done to my physical self over the years. It's going to be scary, but I have to know in order to move forward. I've never been to a chiropractor, but he seemed to honestly know what he's talking about and I had an immediate trust in him.

I left there feeling as if there was a very distinct reason that I actually made the time and effort to attend that particular networking event when I've blown off so many others. I felt the hand of God in the whole thing, and left feeling empowered, hopeful, and thankful.

Then, I knew that I wanted to go see Karli & Wilson in DonQ at the MET, but I was flagging in energy and motivation. For some reason, I forced myself to buy tickets and Tori and I went Saturday night, to the final performance. Well, again, I found myself believing that God had led me to that show. You may know the story of Don Quixote of LaMancha, and this was a local woman's adaptation of the story. It was a beautifully-done show. Wow. I totally bought into the message in the first Act, but it was during the second Act, when DonQ was talking to Mike about his leadership of LaMancha, the need to understand what our role in our world is, and our ability to make our lives what we want/need them to be that I actually broke down and sobbed. I heard the message loud & clear. I can blame stress, I can blame a challenging period at work, I can say I don't have the time or the money, but the more excuses I make the less well I will be.

So, I embark on a new journey. Kit is settled on his own at Edenton and Tori is about to head off to college. My divorce will be final very soon. I have the power to make my life what I want/need it to be, or to float along having little to no energy and live a mediocre life. I am choosing wellness, I am choosing energy, I am choosing LIFE.

Thank God for His wisdom and grace. Thank God for my amazing friends and colleagues. Stay tuned to see how this all works out!!!

Laura Ingraham makes my skin crawl!

2010-07-13T07:12:00.002-04:00

OK, so this morning on The Today Show, Laura Ingraham was plugging her new FICTION book, The Obama Diaries, by telling viewers that the book is not a fictional account, but a telling new way of looking at the Obama Administration. Really? REALLY?

This woman is dangerous and should not be allowed to grace the airwaves. I'm not proposing censorship, because I don't believe in that. Rather I'm proposing that people not watch her and, thereby, render her blather ineffective. I'm proposing that we not give credence to lies and make-believe, vitriol and hatred that she espouses.

I am not thrilled with how things look today politically or socially. I, like many, am disappointed that this Administration has not done more to solve real problems rather than spout rhetoric and put band-aids on things.

HOWEVER:

This Administration INHERITED the deficit - the W Administration caused catastrophic spending and got us into two wars in which we're still ensconced.
This Administration is at least trying to rejuvenate social programs which will make a difference to more Americans
I agree that we need jobs, but not at the benefit of corporations - I fear that the business community will use this economy as a golden opportunity to further rape the people who so badly need jobs now, paying sub-standard wages and not providing benefits, all in the name of corporate financial hardship - yea, right.

That's all I have time for this morning....God help us if Laura Ingraham is the harbinger of truth she professes to be!

summertime, sweet summertime!

2010-06-01T07:11:00.002-04:00

June 1st is here already - amazing, isn't it? Post Memorial Day means more laid-back attitudes, less traffic on the roads (even less once school lets out for non-Seniors in a couple of weeks!), flip flops and vacation at the beach on the horizon. Yay!

Lucy is enjoying her summertime haircut. I wish my Bug's AC didn't cut out, but that will be fixed soon enough, I hope. Not much to contribute to the blogosphere today except to say I'm here, I'm happy, and I'm enjoying summertime!

On BP, the oil spill, and government regulation

2010-05-30T10:08:00.002-04:00

OK, so for the past month plus, oil has been pumping into the Gulf at an alarming rate, endangering wildlife, environment, beaches, and ultimately the world's population.

What the hell?

If BP and other massively wealthy oil companies were properly regulated to begin with by our Federal Government, and had been mandated to have drilled relief wells at the same time as they drilled the primary oil well, this would never have had the impact it has. But no - industry has such powerful political lobbies that they scream "too much regulation! Government has no right to tell us how to run our businesses!" and the idiots who vote for the politicians they buy scream the same bullshit. So, OK, BP, Exxon, other hugely wealthy oil companies - if it will appease you, keep you donating to our campaigns, and get the consumers the oil and gas that they crave, we'll let you drill a huge oil well thousands of leagues under the ocean with no failsafes.

Smart move, whichever Administration allowed the original drill to be put in place.

In my opinion, the leaders at BP and the share holders should be paying every penny of clean up costs. They need to quit going on tv defending themselves, claiming to do all they can do, and start fixing things. They need to be held accountable.

After all, if I created a disaster at work .5% as serious as this one, I'd be pounding the pavement looking for a new job. Hell, I'd probably being sued out of house & home. But I'm just a lower-middle-class grunt. Screw me. Thanks.

the answer to when it would all hit me...

2010-05-02T18:00:00.002-04:00

...like a ton of bricks.

I have been wondering when the reality of my baby, my only child, beloved daughter, growing up and away would hit me, and I found out on Friday, her 18th birthday.

She was showing me a lovely gift that her friend, Cassie, had given her of a set of cosmetic bags...telling me how helpful it will be to have the set in college, at JMU. All of a sudden, I got this sick feeling in my stomach - she's going away.

It hit me. Wow.

Going away to college! It seems like just yesterday that I was making preparations for my own college career at Hood. Of course, it was a whopping 29 years ago....so I totally understand how excited she is, how she's anticipating life on campus, classes, shows, friends, late-nighters, college traditions, sports games, late-night Denny's (or wherever JMU kids go) runs.

I continue to be happy for her, and so excited for all she's about to experience. Yet still, I am starting to realize how very much I'll miss her.

It's the natural order of things, it's how it should be. It will be harder than I once believed.

checked out Tori @Glee

2010-04-29T05:59:00.000-04:00

checked out Tori @Glee

I have an idea...

2010-04-27T06:47:00.002-04:00

....what if businesses paid living wages and fair benefits to all employees, and people stopped thinking that certain types of jobs are "beneath" them - hmmmm....then we may not have such an issue with people coming into the country illegally to work for the same entities who are supporting Arizona's archaic immigration law! What a concept! I know it's a generalization, but I'd wager a bet that most people who support that law would never consider taking a $5hour job harvesting our farmers' crops, slinging burgers, manning our multitude of convenience, liquor, and other service sector businesses, etc....

My brother, my friend, my stand-in father

2010-01-28T18:51:00.002-05:00

Christopher Anthony Murphy, Jr...or Kit to his family. A man who has probably THE biggest heart one can have. And I am the sister who has been the beneficiary of his love for 46 + years. And also of his torturous sense of humor...but I digress...

Kit has always been the quiet one, the serious one, the SMART one. He should have gone on Jeopardy many years ago, and we've told him so countless times throughout the years. He's a fountain of trivial knowledge. He has worked with/on computers since they took up entire rooms at the Social Security Administration complex in Woodlawn.

Only 61, he is now hospitalized at Franklin Square Hospital in Baltimore. Facing surgery tomorrow for rampant infections in his feet. I've been uttering silent and not so silent prayers all day that all goes well and he is healed. He has been such a good and deserving servant, and is such a special guy. He deserves a good outcome.

So, my MOBAC if you are reading this - get well and we'll get through this together. Matt, Claudia and I love you more than we can ever tell you. We are here for you.

xoxoxoxoxo

Moving onward and upward

2010-01-24T16:53:00.002-05:00

Resiliency is amazing. While still stung by recent rejections, Tori is thinking about greener pastures, looking at other schools with an open mind and an open heart. Prayers are being answered - God is good. Many, many thanks to all of my friends and followers who have taken a few minutes to ask Him and any other Higher Powers they believe in/talk to to help us through these auditions! I know she's going to land where she's supposed to be. I just know it!

Dealing with rejection

2010-01-24T06:10:00.002-05:00

Well, we're home from Pittsburgh and our visit to Point Park University/Conservatory for Tori's audition. Again, she felt as if she did very well; but, again, she did not make the program. This is probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to endure. Harder than my cancer diagnosis. Harder than my own college and grad school course work. Harder than the dissolution of my marriage. To see her so devastated, questioning her talent and her worth so mournfully - this is truly a parent's challenge.

I know she is destined to perform. I KNOW she is among the most talented. The question is, can she take the heat of all of the rejection she's yet to face in that field, no matter HOW talented she is? It's not about ability here. It's about what they're looking for. Whatever that is. Who knows? But all of the pep talks in the world, all of the talk about it not being her, it being them...all is falling flat because she is hurting so.

So she has 3 more auditions/campus visits scheduled. Three more opportunities. We're looking at other schools that she can apply to, but the clock is ticking. Truly stressful. But this, too, shall pass. I still believe that she'll land where she's supposed to land. She will be OK in the end, but we have to get through all of this to get to that place. Dammit, this is just so hard.....

more thoughts about the state of world issues

2009-12-02T19:10:00.002-05:00

Matthew Hoh has it right - Al Quaeda is not based in Afghanistan - they are based all over the world because they have a huge presence on the internet. No war, no matter how many men and women we send into harm's way, no matter how much money (that we don't have) we throw into combat, no matter how many politicians banter and debate - NO WAR - will end the terrorist threat to any free-thinking Country. The terrorists have won the battle if not the war - they have us scared to death of our own shadows, of what might be. That is very sad, in my opinion. We can't legislate and make policy based on what if's. We have to be prudent and intelligent. Right now we are neither. I voted for our President and I greatly admire him. However, I so greatly disagree with this latest decision that I felt I just had to post here. That's all for now....sleep tight (and dream of PEACE!).

controversial opinions herein: Proceed at your own risk!

2009-11-24T18:41:00.002-05:00

Some thoughts on issues/items in the news today:

Crib Recall:

While I don't disagree that cribs that are unsafe should be removed from the market and that secondhand cribs should not be purchased from yard sales or e-bay, I find it fascinating that people who smoke around their children, put cereal in their babies' bottles to get them more full so they're sleep, give their kids unregulated herbal supplements to help them sleep through the night (so they, the parents, aren't so tired in the morning) etc.... may be more outraged at 5 (albeit needless & sad) infant deaths than by the potential harm they, themselves, may cause their children. And that they may sue the manufacturer for neglect while they, themselves, are potentially neglectful.

Additional troops to fight Al Qaeda in Afghanistan:

Is anyone listening to the troops themselves, who know that Al Qaeda is not in one particular part of the world or one particular country, but all over the world? In this day and age of internet and technology, they are able to spread hatred world-wide in record time. Thinking that pouring additional dollars into fighting in Afghanistan is going to "win the war on Al Qaeda" is ludicrous. It's like saying that bombing one Ku Klux Klan gathering place is going to win the war on racism. Hatred, terrorism, and political and religious intolerance know no borders, so a "war" against them, on the ground with troops, is not able to be won. Do I want the troops to have further support so they are better protected? On one hand, you bet! But in the wider scope of things, I don't want more troops in harm's way.

Oprah ending her talk show:

Had to end with something less serious. I say, do whatever makes you happy, Oprah. You're rich enough, who cares if the leap to your own cable network leaves you less effective, a lesser impact on pop culture?

That's it for now!

What the He** is Wrong With Me?

2009-11-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

I just had this thought...remembering, for some reason, every idiotic mistake I've made in my life. Not very productive, but thought-provoking all the same. I've tried to make square pegs fit in round holes so many times....and then I am surprised when things don't work out the way I'd envisioned. What's wrong with this picture?

The last few weeks have been filled with sadness. Two friends, each at only age 48, have passed away in the past 3 weeks. A young man - only in his early 30's - who was a resident at Citizens was taken off of tube feedings, taken home, and passed away on Wednesday. It's been rainy and a bit gloomy, and I am facing my first Thanksgiving in 18 years without Tori by my side. And I'm still fairly-newly separated. Ugh.

I know there are thousands of things to be thankful for, and I am taking a few moments every morning to remember those. But today, for some reason, the "what-if's" are taking over my thought patterns. If only I had realized when I was younger what I really wanted in a relationship, if only I had communicated that more effectively for 22+ years, if only I did what I knew was best for me instead of what feels good at the time....the list goes on and on.

I have cried more in the past 3 weeks than I have laughed. I have worked long hours in a job which, thankfully, I love, but I am exhausted. I am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We're heading into Holiday Season, and I want to be joyful, be grateful, be happy....am hoping that things turn around soon.

nearly a whole day without internet...yikes!

2009-11-10T15:58:00.003-05:00

Found out today what effect having an internet outage has on me, and it is NOT pretty, I tell you! I felt as if I'd been cut off from the whole world. Then I went to work for a couple of hours and the phone and internet went down THERE, too...talk about feeling like a jinx! Anyway, I'm back up & running thanks to Annette at Apple Tech Support, who was very kind and patient with me as she helped me get my wireless router back in order.

Over the past 2 weekends, I've found a bunch of old photos and other memorabilia, and have had fun scanning stuff into my computer and posting pics to my Facebook. It is amazing to look back and see how my life has evolved. Very cathartic.

Busy week - I'm going to be a vendor at my very first holiday bazaar as a Close To My Heart consultant...I have to get off of the computer and get more sample stuff made! Plus, I have to figure out how to take and process orders so I can send them in when they roll in.

so, between prepping for the show, trying to straighten up the house, working, and generally staying busy, I am a bit overwhelmed...but at least I'm not bored. Boredom is the worst thing, so how can I really complain??!

The first of my Truth About Healthcare Reform Blogs...

2009-11-08T09:59:00.002-05:00

From www.nationalhealthcouncil.org. As non-partisan a group as I could find on the Web! :

Health care reform will put more decision making in the hands of patients and doctors. It will NOT enable the government to make individual treatment decisions.

The health reform legislation before Congress preserves choice and decision-making for patients and would improve the coordination of care for patients. Every proposal being considered would allow individuals to choose their own health plans, providers, and hospitals; none of the proposals would prevent patients and their doctors from choosing the best possible care.

THE REAL TRUTH: Health care reform will require insurance companies to offer a minimum level of benefits. It will NOT result in socialized medicine.

None of the major health reform proposals under consideration propose a government-run health care system in which the federal government is the single payer or provider of health insurance. Proposed legislation allows the government to set a standard level of covered benefits that all insurance companies must provide. This standard would establish a minimum on benefits but would not preclude insurance companies from offering additional benefits if they so chose.

Health care reform will expand Medicare benefits. It will NOT lead to euthanasia for senior citizens.

Health reform proposals look to expand Medicare benefits and reduce out-of-pocket costs for certain Medicare services. In fact, the House bill proposes to enhance Medicare benefits by closing the coverage gap for prescription drugs in the Medicare Part D program. The bills before Congress also would create a way to pay physicians for talking to patients about advanced care planning. Patients regularly consult now with their health providers to plan for end-of-life needs, such as advance directives and palliative care. Under the proposals before Congress, these consultations would continue to be voluntary, would not promote euthanasia (which is illegal in 48 states), and would allow physicians to get paid for the helpful information they already provide to patients.

The National Health Council is the only organization of its kind that brings together all segments of the health care community to provide a united voice for 133 million people with chronic diseases and disabilities and their family caregivers. Made up of 115 national health-related organizations, its core membership includes 50 of the nation’s leading patient advocacy groups. Other members include professional and member- ship associations, nonprofit organizations with an interest in health, and major pharmaceutical, medical device and bio- technology companies. The National Health Council brings together diverse stakeholders within the health community to work for health care that meets the personal needs and goals of people with chronic diseases and disabilities.

Learn more about the National Health Council at www.nationalhealthcouncil.org.

This & that..I'm baaaacccckkk!

2009-11-08T09:18:00.005-05:00

I have to get serious about posting again. Too much is going on in the world globally and in my life specifically not to blog about it. So, here goes...

Many of Tori's friends are now in college, which makes the reality of her going off to school in less than a year all that much more freaky. I enjoy keeping up with several of them on Facebook, and am also having fun sending some USPS surprises to them occasionally. Getting "real" mail while in college is much more fun than all the electronic communications, so I try to give them something to look forward to! Anyway, reading about their studies, their extracurriculars, and just seeing their posts about national and global issues is really cool.

So Tori's college search/application process continues. She has her heart set on attending The Hartt School, which is the conservatory program of the University of Hartford in West Hartford, CT. We visited in September and she will visit again in December for her audition. All of her application materials are submitted and we'll know by the first of the year whether she's accepted, wait-listed, or denied admission to the program. It's a very intensive Musical Theatre program that sounds as if it would be ideal for her. the campus is nice - about 7800 students total, but only 25 or so accepted into each musical theatre "cast" (as they call their classes). We'll just have to see how everything pans out.

I continue to be amazed at her abilities and talents. She is being asked to perform and audition for many projects and I am just so proud of her. Not to be a true "dramamama" - God forbid - but I, of course, think she's going to make it big some day. Fingers crossed and prayers said!

I continue to be swamped at work, and overwhelmed with stuff here at home. I need to get ready for a yard sale in the Spring and to get the house ready to go on the market in April or so. I have found several condos & townhouses in Frederick that are priced right and I'd love to go look at, but I don't dare. I have to sell this house first. So if anyone reading this is looking for a lovely circa 1880's home on .68 acres of land with a huge Morton Building and beautiful formal garden, please come see if you'd like to live here!!!

October was a tough month. September 30th marked the 8th anniversary of mom's death, & October 7th would have been her 83rd birthday. The 25th would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary, and my high school friend Eddie Cooney lost his battle with pancreatic cancer that same day. Tough all 'round. But on the upside, Halloween was fun. Gotta take what I can to inject humor and fun!

So now November is well upon us. Hard to believe, truthfully. So much has changed in my life since February 2009. This year will go down in my personal history as one of the most challenging yet most growth-filled, right up there with 1993 & 2001. I need to scrapbook those 2 years as well as this one to remember and share with Tori and her future family that we can overcome challenges and come out better on the other side.

I think that I am going to either start a new blog specifically about political issues or infuse this one with specific blogs about policy related issues. I truly believe that most people either for or against certain things have no idea why they are for or against them...they just sort of go with the flow and believe all they hear from one specific media outlet or another. I want to do some research on some hot topics and try to present the best arguments of both sides, and then pontificate on which I agree with and why. I have the innate ability to see both sides of issues and understand both, but I definitely have my opinions on one or the other as the better solution or "side." I am hoping that this will help people see that they can't believe all they hear, they need to be better informed before spouting off about things, and they should try to understand the other side even though they will likely feel strongly about their views. I think that we need more of this out there on the web and in the media in general. Maybe this little blog can get the ball rolling!

So, on to a busy Sunday. "see" you 'round the cybersphere sometime soon!

New Blog Post after 5.5 months away...

2009-07-31T17:03:00.003-04:00

I've been away from my blog for nearly half a year - hard to believe how quickly time flies by! I have decided to renew my efforts to post regularly for several reasons:

I have entered a new phase of my life as Bruce and I decided to separate on July 1st after 22.5 years of marriage. A whole new world has been opening up to me, and I have a lot to say about that!
Our Country entered a new era in January with the inauguration of Barak Obama. I have been hesitant to post too many politically-themed items on Facebook because I don't want to seem rude. I'm OK having friends who think/feel differently than I on political topics, but I'd rather discuss them on a less occupied space than Facebook. If they want to weigh in on my comments, this blog seems a more civilized space in which to do it. Or, if they don't want to read the blog, they don't have to!
Tori is entering her Senior year of high school, with everything that entails on the way. Senior portraits, new class schedule (including enrollment in Advanced Music Studies at T.J. High School in the mornings and regular classes at Linganore in the afternoons). It will be wonderful and stressful and news-full....so I can blog about all of that!
I am dedicated to rediscovering who I am and what I love to do as I prepare to become an empty-nester. I am hoping to blog about that, too.

So, as you can see, I'll be covering anything and everything on my blog in the coming days/weeks/months/year(s). Stay tuned!!!!

Grief, Faith and Elation

2009-02-15T11:08:00.004-05:00

This past week has brought more emotions to the surface for me than I ever believed possible in 8 short days. Saturday, February 7th marked a milestone in our family, the last day during which Bruce's brother, Chris, was alive on this earth. On Sunday, February 8th, at about 2 p.m., Bruce got the news that Chris, at the young age of 43, had died in his sleep. We began the long journey into grief, trying to figure out how to plan a memorial in his honor and how to forgive ourselves for our parts in his unhappiness. Together, we finally agreed that while we may not have been as involved as we may have been in Chris' life, he was an adult and made decisions that only he had control over.

Faith helped me immensely, as I physically felt the results of prayers that so many of my friends and family members were sending up on our behalf. I have faith that Chris is no longer in pain, that he has met is Maker and is on a better path. I have faith that I am where I'm supposed to be, living the life I'm supposed to live, and that there is nothing I could have done differently to change the outcome of Chris' life. I have faith that, with a little help from my friends, I will be OK.

Elation came on Friday, just hours before the memorial service, as we found out that Tori will be portraying Millie Dillmount in Thoroughly Modern Millie at Linganore the last weekend in April. We needed that good news to buoy us in this time of grief. She was lifted up to sing at the Memorial - Blue Wind from the musical Spring Awakening - a haunting song that reflected the sadness we were all feeling. So many people came to the memorial - many of Chris' friends from the writing group he worked with, friends from school days, family friends, and many of my dear friends from work, theatre, and girlfriend circles. They will never know what their support and presence meant to me - words can't adequately tell them.

So, onward we go...winter is waning and soon the green shoots of Spring will be popping up everywhere. We may see one or two more snowfalls, but the very most dark part of Winter is on the way into the past. We have all of the rites of Spring to look forward to....singing competitions, Easter, Spring Break, and the musical. Tori's Junior year of high school is winding down, and college visits are on the agenda.

Life goes on....

ugh

2009-01-06T12:55:00.003-05:00

There's a GI bug going around at work, and guess who's caught it?? Yup. Aches, headache, and gunk. Not fun. So much for 2009 starting out well.

Actually, I have an optimistic feeling that once this is over with, everything will be A-OK. I am reading some really interesting, albeit a bit out-there, books by Sylvia Browne, recommended and loaned to me by someone at work. I've always believed in a spirit world, and this just takes it a step further. I've decided to record what I can remember of my dreams as I've always dreamed very vividly and I want to see if there are any patterns there that may help me get out of the rut I've been in for quite awhile. We'll see.

I hope to soon post some pics of my side of the family gathering this year. We had a great time at Kevin's "new" place. It's right on the water and he's done a lot of work to fix it up.

Well, not too much energy today, so more later....

Wow - 2009!

2009-01-01T11:14:00.003-05:00

Seriously, I sort of forgot I had a blog to maintain - Facebook has become my new addiction as of late - I'm on there waaaay more often than I should even admit. So, here's what's been going on in my world:

Work: Very busy, but there's a light at the end of the no Admissions/Social Work Director tunnel. I am hoping that we will hire a new colleague for me to work with in January. I can't tell you how much that will help! I'll be able to do more of the fun, creative stuff and less of the icky stuff. Lost some very special residents these past few months, and that is always so difficult. But I do feel honored that I was able to spend some time with them and know them, if even for a short time.

Home: Always something to do that I don't feel like doing. Like cleaning. Or just de-cluttering. Or just moving off of sofa. Yes, it's that sad. On the upside, the house is still standing - with a puppy, there's always the possibility that it won't be! And with the high winds as of late...well, we lost our American Flag for a while as well as various & sundry other items that we had decorating our landscaping. So yes, it is good to have a place to call home.

Family: Bruce is still travelling to NC every week, but has been home for a couple of longer weekends due to the holidays. He continues to put up with me, so that's a positive thing, I think. Tori is...well, she's 16 and that about says it all. She's been dating Travis for 6 months, which is sort of freaking me out, but other than that, her life is all dance, voice & drama. She'll audition for the Spring Musical, "Thoroughly Modern Millie" later this month and then rehearsals will start for that, leaving her with little free time. What free time she does have will often be spent on homework and starting the college application process - or at least figuring out her top 5-7 schools so she can apply when the time comes. Right now, it's looking like Marymount Manhattan, Towson U, and Columbia College (Chicago) are her top 3. We'll just have to see how it all works out! Various members of my extended family have faced some real challenges in these past several months, and any prayers are very much appreciated!

Me: Um...still overweight and wanting to change that but not caring to put in the effort it requires (just being honest, here...). Heavily involved in the Fredericktowne Players' Board - come see "Grace & Glorie" the last weekend in January or the first in February at FCC!!! Trying to find time here & there to scrapbook and make cards. Very much enjoying the company of my friends when I can. Loving reconnecting with so many special people on Facebook - have found several folks from my high school days recently and we're planning some mini-reunions. I am really psyched for those! Have also reconnected with some Hood-lums through LinkdedIn and Faebook, and that is fun too!

So, those are the highlights. It's 2009, people! Time for a change, time to kiss crappy 2008 GOODBYE! Time for....well, let's just see what the New Year brings, shall we? Pease & love to all who have made it this far....post more soon!

It's been forever

2008-11-25T05:52:00.002-05:00

since I posted anything. Facebook has overtaken my cyberspace life, I guess. And it has been very busy at work and with Tori's involvement in the LHS show, which ran last week/weekend.

Thanksgiving is already here - how weird! Time is just flying by. We're going to spend Thanksgiving with my family at Tim & Lisa's, and I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe it will help me clear my head of all the crap running through it as a result of Tori's student directing experience. Enough said in such a public forum...enough said in general. I have to let that poisonous stuff go!

Work remains very busy. The Frederick County Commissioners keep throwing around the possibility of privitizing the facility, which would be a huge mistake. But there it is, cropping up in the newspapers every now & then. So it's up to my colleagues and me to keep on keepin' on and do our best work to show them why we need a governmentally owned/run nursing home in Frederick. I do love my job, and the residents. Their families can be challenging, but what families aren't?!? They're facing giving over their loved one's care to us, strangers, and they're scared, or feeling guilty. They don't understand a lot of what goes into taking care of an ailing person. The payment system is complicated, and they are worried about paying for it all. I'd be a pain in the butt, too!

Anyway, between work and home, life is full. And I have to remember that it's generally a good life. Sure, there are bumps in the road. The hardest thing is overcoming the urge to protect Tori from all of the negative stuff. I can't - and shouldn't - do so. The sooner she realizes that there are people out there who you thought you could trust that will turn on you, or those who are supposed to help but hurt, the stronger she'll become. She's already learned lessons at age 16 that I didn't learn until I was in my 30's. I've told her that, and am trying to help her move forward. But I have to let go and move forward myself in order to help her. So onward I go......

Whew...

2008-11-05T05:34:00.001-05:00

'nuff said. Amen!

split personality

2008-11-03T06:39:00.002-05:00

November 1, miss Tori before she's gone....November 2, wish Tori was on her own, her crappy attitude with her...November 3, ???

Which relationship will prevail today? The mom wants daughter by her side forever or mom would like to shove daughter out of the nest head-first? Hmmmmm....I wonder.....

We went to the Fine & Performing Arts College Fair in D.C. yesterday, which precipitated much of the above angst. She was surly and ungrateful that I spent one of only two days I get off each week there for HER while she barely spoke to any college reps or took info from any schools. She got mad at me for naming schools as we passed the booths - it was crowded and it was hard to see what schools were where, so as I could see the sign, I turned back and told her what was ahead. That really annoyed her. So I gave her the boot - I went and sat and waited for her to finish her foray through the aisles. Which took all of 3 minutes because she wouldn't talk to anyone without me with her. She is driving me nuts!!!!!

Anyway, she did pick up info from two promising schools - one in Hartford, CT and one on Staten Island. She is bound & determined to be in/near NYC which, as long as they offer a good financial aid package, will work for me. She wouldn't even pick info up from UMBC, which has a great program - discounted it right off the bat. I understand, because I wouldn't originally have even considered it, but they have a wonderful program and offer a lot of aid. She simply seems to have no real grasp on what a difference it can make to graduate from college without a mountain of debt. Well, if she owes $80,000 upon graduation, it will be her debt, not ours, I guess.

Soooo.....I really need to get my butt in gear and get in to work. Later!

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

2008-11-01T08:07:00.003-04:00

It's November 1st, so the first words I said this morning are in the title of this blog. We need all the good luck we can get in 3 days when voters go to the polls. Please, God. Please.

Halloween was fun, as usual - my favorite Holiday. Tori is peeved at me because of the creepy clown doll I hung in the linen closet and then put in her purse. But come on - it was Halloween! She'll get me back eventually, and I'm an easy scare.

Lucy went to work with me in her ladybug costume, and I dressed as a butterfly - well, I wore wings and deely-bopper thingies on my head. She was a big hit. It was one of the busiest days I've had in recent memory, and I was glad to get the heck out of dodge and get home to the trick-or-treaters....

Now, we used to get 100 or so kids come by, but last night, we had maybe 20 or 25 if we were lucky. Tibby (Tori's final day-care mom) came with her four kids, and they were adorable. Her youngest turns 1 today, and last year, she had her mucho pregnant tummy painted like a jack-o-lantern! Melissa is such a cutie, as are Jack, Grace & Dawson. So we had a Hannah Montana come by, several princesses, an adorable St. Bernard (Mandy, age 1 1/2, from next-door), and a variety of other spooks & goblins.

November is here...weird. Time is just flying. Thanksgiving is a mere 4 weeks away, the Christmas. Tori is ever closer to her Senior year and then college. Last night I got a taste of how independent she's becoming. She and I have always done Halloween together - getting her ready in costume, handing out treats, and seeing her off to trick-or-treat here in Unionville. But not this year. She wore her costume to school, had rehearsal until 5, then drove over to Siobhan's house in Woodspring to hang out with friends and trick-or-treat in Woodspring and The Meadows. Didn't get home until after 9:30. I truly missed her being with me. And the years when she won't be with me at all are speeding toward me at an alarming rate. Who knew I'd be so sad? I've been saying for years that it's the natural order of things and, if I'm doing my parenting job well, we'll both be ready for her to fly away. Well, I lied! I will miss her terribly. There, I said it. Teen attitude and all, she is my baby. And I already miss her. *sniff* *sniff*

Thanks MOBAC/Uncle Kit

2008-10-21T18:53:00.002-04:00

Tori and I have now entered the 21st Century thanks to my big brother, Kit - he sent us both GPS systems for our use! Especially useful for a new driver. I got one panicked call on my cell phone while I was in VA Beach because she'd gone too far down Jefferson Pike and was almost to Lander Road instead of at dance. She finally has the routes to routine places down pat, but if there's traffic or a detour - uh oh. So this will really be a life-saver. Not to mention we can use it when we go on road trips to visit colleges in unfamiliar territory, and to find our way around NYC on our next visit. And around Myrtle Beach in February. See - the possibilities are endless!

It's almost Wednesday, which is almost Friday, so I'm in much better spirits. Now if we could just get Bo's bladder infection under control so he quits peeing everywhere....I just scrubbed the kitchen floor and the dining room is next. I can't see any pee, but I sure can smell it....now to determine if it's all due to illness or he's just being spiteful because of Lucy being here. They play well and seem to get along, but who knows what on earth goes on in their little brains...

If you have any suggestions for products or remedies that work to get rid of pee smell, please let me know. I've tried many things, including expensive stuff from 2-Paws Up, but no real relief.

Now I just need to get caught up on the mundane, such as laundry. And I don't want to totally bore anyone reading this with anything THAT mundane, so I'll end here.

I've got the blues

2008-10-20T06:23:00.003-04:00

And not from eating Kraft Mac & Cheese, either. It's Monday. A full work week looms ahead. Yuk. We are due for our annual survey by the State, and they may show up today. Double YUK. And I have a lot on my plate, including primary responsibility for admissions. Biggest YUK of all.

I'm trying to have a positive attitude about work. At least I have a job I generally love in these crummy economic times. At least I get to take Lucy in with me, and she cheers everyone up. At least I have a lot of flexibility and have a lot of fun things I get to do. At least I am not at DHMH anymore (now THAT was a nightmare of a place to work).

And it's Fall, my favorite season. The frost is on the pumpkins, and the air is crisp and finally cold enough for me. OK, so things are looking up....and I am fortunate enough to get four (count 'em, four) paid holidays in November because of Election Day and the day after Thanksgiving. And I have a wonderful loving family and a beautiful (if very small) roof over my head and food in the pantry.

OK, so life is pretty damn good. See, I knew I could turn things around!!! Blue no more (well, a lighter shade of blue anyway).

If only I could help Tori see the bright side - she dyed her hair last night to make it darker and it's....well....it's darker alright - pretty much black. And she hates it. And she's near tears. Oh dear. I think that this one may have to be remedied in the salon. She's been really lucky so far that of all the colors she's tried, she hasn't hated any of them. But this time...well, it's a huge change, from coppery blonde to black. But this, too, shall pass. And as I think I've written before, it's only hair. It can be changed.

Unlike the day of the week...it's Monday for the whole day!

Lucy is FAMOUS!

2008-10-16T21:35:00.002-04:00

Check out www.cutewithchris.com and scroll down to posts for October 14 - you'll see Lucy in her ladybug costume! She was on that website when we first brought her home - Tori sent one in of her "laughing." And now this time. She is just the cutest thing in the world. Be sure to click on comments to read what people had to say - it's pretty funny!

Laughing

2008-10-16T05:18:00.004-04:00

I sure got my laugh for the week when I tried Lucy's Halloween costume on her - I can just see from her face what she must've been thinking - "I can't BELIEVE she's humiliating me this way -sheesh. Can I please take it off now???!?!?!" But darn, is she cute!

I have been trying to slow the speed of life down and enjoy things more. Yeah, as if in the middle of a historical and contentious Presidential election season I can avoid frustration... I will be so glad when it's November 5th (well, as long as the correct candidate wins).

We're taking Tori up to Towson U tomorrow for an Open House, and I'm really looking forward to that. While we both loved Marymount Manhattan, I'm hoping that she can love TU for at least two years before transferring there to save us some $$$ and let her ease into college life in a less urban environment. We'll be hitting a Fine & Performing Arts College Fair in D.C. in November to try to choose a few more schools to visit/apply to.

I went for my orientation to dog training last night, and I have a lot of work to do. Lucy's first class is Friday evening. I think she'll do just fine, it's me that will need to learn to behave!

So Leann won Project Runway - woot! I loved her collection. I would love to bid on her gown online, but that's just a pipe dream. Besides, who is 5'11" and a size 0-2?? No one in this house!

Off to another zany day at work....

blech

2008-10-14T06:01:00.002-04:00

I hate feeling sick. Especially the day after a 3-day weekend, when it might look suspect that I'm calling off of work. Oh well. I can tell you that I don't LIKE these stomach ailments - they suck - well, actually, the opposite but that's getting a bit too graphic for a public blog!

So, I'll be home today. I have conferences with Tori's teachers and the Drama Booster meeting this afternoon/evening, so I am praying that I feel much better by 3:30 today.

Lucy is going to start training on Friday to get some basics under her collar, then attend training to become a Therapy Dog! I am really excited about working with her on this, and being trained myself. Actually, my training is probably more of a challenge than hers - I have to learn to be consistent and not let her get away with things like kissing me all over and jumping into my arms when I get home. Truth is, I enjoy her exuberance, and it's going to be hard for me to keep her from showing me how much she loves me that way. But for the greater good of her ability to be a good companion to me and our residents at Citizens, I have to do it. Her sweet personality will still be evident, I'm sure. And boy is she a sweetie!

So life is ever more busy despite Tori driving. Why didn't I see that coming? Between Lucy's training, FtP Board stuff, LHS Drama stuff, and work, I still don't have enough hours to clean my house and scrapbook/card create as I need.

Well, gotta run....ugh.

trying again

2008-10-12T12:25:00.004-04:00

So, I posted a wonderful, huge blog the other week and *poof* - it vanished into thin air. I hate it when that happens!

And I have no idea what it referenced at this point.

This one will be short & sweet as I have to head out of here for a work-related event at a church in Middletown. Can I just say that I love my liberal friends?? We had some folks over last night to eat munchies & drink wine (or whatever) and sit around the fire pit and just discuss the state of the union (which we all agree sucks more since the nomination of Sara Palin as GOP VP candidate). We had a wonderful time!

It has been such a beautiful weekend. LHS Homecoming dance was last night, so I've included a couple of those pics here:

I hope to post more substantial thoughts later.....

Just another Manic Thursday

2008-10-02T18:58:00.002-04:00

Well, I know that's not the way the song goes, but it was especially true of my day!

The Frederick Elder Expo was today, and it is always a hectic day for me. True to form, I'd forgotten to get a gift card to donate as a bingo prize, so I had to stop at the Giant and buy one. This put me behind in getting to the Expo, but I was by no means late. I got all set up, and also true to form, the little old people came streaming through at a rapid clip, grabbing up all of my give-aways in record time.

The highlight of my day was getting to meet Sen. Barbara Mikulski and get my picture taken with her. I had met her last year, but didn't have my camera. Today, I had it with me because I had to go to the FtP studio to take pictures of the show posters from the past 40 years. Good thing, because I was prepared when she arrived. She was very, very gracious. I was excited!

So after the Expo I did, indeed, go take pictures of the posters so I can send them to Comcast. I was interviewed earlier in the week for Comcast 10's Artscape (Susan Thornton's show about arts and culture in Frederick County) which will air starting next Tuesday October 7th. Hey - that would've been mom's 82nd birthday. How poetic! Anyway, they wanted .jpg's of posters from throughout the last 40 years to highlight during the segment, so I had to get them taken and over to them.

That done, I came home and straightened up a bit, swept the driveway and deck, which was FULL of black walnuts, leaves, and twigs, and collapsed on the sofa. Tomorrow will be an insanely busy day as well, as will Saturday.

Tori is nursing a sprained back. She fell in the dining room on Sunday and has been in a lot of pain. I feel really badly for her, but she HAS to get back to school!!!!

I am getting nervous about tonight's VP debate. Biden just can NOT screw this up!

Ahhhh, Autumn!

2008-09-30T06:15:00.002-04:00

Walking Lucy this morning at O'Dark-thirty, I reveled in the cool, crisp morning. I simply love this time of year. The air smells different - better - than at any time of year (except maybe how it smells right before it starts to snow). Apples and pears are crunchy and sweet. I want to move around more - not so humid and sticky out there. And my favorite holiday, Halloween, is not too far off. Time to decorate the house & yard and get ready for trick-or-treaters!

So, life is good. Ahhhh, Autumn!!!

Home again, home again...

2008-09-29T06:03:00.004-04:00

..jiggity jig. Well, I'm not exactly doing a jig to be going back to work today, but it sure is nice to be home!

The weekend, once I got home, was nice. Bruce & Tori had baked me a b'day cake and planned to have a family dinner on Saturday, so we grilled out despite the rain (it seems to have followed me home) and had a nice meal together.

Sunday, I started laundry, did some sweeping up, and just tried to enjoy my day. I had some errands to run and I went and spent the gift card to Coldwater Creek that Bruce gave me for my birthday - thanks, Bruce! I got three really nice tops - one to wear as a set and one amazing t-type top that has amazing colors in it. I met with a colleague from FtP to plan a tv taping I have at Comcast tomorrow, for Artscape with Susan Thornton. And I watched the Redskins BEAT THE COWBOYS!!!! WOOO HOOO! (Take that, Travis!)

Then it was time with Tori & Lucy. We built a fire in the new fire pit and Maggie (our other daughter in heart and soul) came over to make s'mores and hang out. The Amazing Race premiere was on, so of course I was glued to that and the season premiere of Desperate Housewives.

Anyway, woke up about 40 minutes later than ideal, so I have got to get running. More later...

Nor'easter

2008-09-25T21:33:00.003-04:00

Today was an indoor day. Reading scrpits for FtP, finishing the novel I have been reading, making cards, and napping.....a good day.Plus, the season premiere of Survivor is on, so I'm psyched about that. But, of course, one of the two teams sucks, and they are about to vote their 2nd member off. Every damn season - why can't the teams be more evenly matched?!?!?

Anyway, we're hoping that the weather breaks a good deal tomorrow so that the Neptune Festival can get underway and we can go find some of the sand sculptors and their sculptures. Also, the arts & crafts vendors are supposed to set up at about 3:00, so we hope the winds and rains abate enough to allow that so that we can do some browsing. Tomorrow's our last full day, and we'd like to spend it outdoors if possible. I still want to swim in the ocean at least once more before we leave.

But regardless, it's been a great, relaxing week. I'm sort of missing my family, and of course I miss Lucy, too! I'm re-energized and ready to get back to "real life."

Deleted updates

2008-09-24T17:37:00.003-04:00

So, I typed an entire post yesterday, then somehow hit the "back" button in my browser and lost the whole thing. Dang. It was profound, too "-)

Ruthie and I went back to Beach Scrapbooks today to get pens to write on the back of a pic I took of us with the Neptune scuplture at 31st St. We want to send the prints as postcards. Of course, while there, I did more than buy pens....

BUT -- I got to meet Melissa and Jen!!! Susan is a real sweetie, too, and we had met her on Monday when we went in. But today the co-owner, Jen, and zany Melissa were also in the store. I felt as though I'd known them forever - reminded me a lot of Gina and how we clicked right away. I may go crop on Friday with them and the store regulars. The weather is supposed to go downhill from here, so I may get a lot done if I crop with all of them.

So, I was bound & determined to get in the ocean on my birthday. And, I did! Ruthie gamely ventured down to the beach with me, beach chair and blanket in hand, and we tried, really we did, to sit down there for awhile. Within just a few short minutes, everything in our bags was covered in sand. Buried. I got into the ocean up to my hips, but the waves and the outward pull of the tide were so strong that there was a foot-deep hole where I stood in less than a minute. I took some pics for posterity, we got sandblasted by blowing sand, and we retreated back up to the room to read in here. It wasn't worth getting whipped with blowing sand! We are still picking sand granules out of our hair, eyes, ears, and mouth - yuk!

So, it's been a restful and quiet day (except for the 10 minutes of chaos that was the beach on a day when the winds were gusting up to 37 mph!). We still have two full days of relaxation left, and are going to enjoy them thoroughly.

Not a good beach day, but who cares?!?

2008-09-22T19:47:00.002-04:00

It was very windy and cloudy all day, and the wind continues to whip around out there. But hey - is there ever a bad day at the beach?

We walked around a lot today once we got moving. I didn't sleep well last night and was awake from about 2:45 - 5:30 this morning, so it wasn't until close to 11 that we actually got out and about. We found Beach Scrapbooks, an amazing non-chain scrapbook store here in VA Beach. And yes, I spent some $$. Many, many thanks to my big bro, Kit, otherwise known as M.O.B.A.C. (explanation to follow in a future blog sometime....maybe), who called down and left me a very generous b-day gift card there. I bought some really cool papers, a VA Beach 6X6 scrapbook, a Quikutz disc for the Silhouette, and some other amazing stuff that I've never seen anywhere else. I hope to spend some time tonight cropping at the small kitchen table in the condo. Poor Ruthie may never see or be able to use that table again during the duration of our vacation...

Anyway, then we found a Pier One and some other shops, ate lunch, and came on back, hoping to hit the beach for an hour or three, but it was just too windy and cool. I really didn't want sand in both eyes, both ears, my hair, and my mouth, thank you. And the water looked REALLY rough. It was bad enough yesterday when the waves were monstrous. But the water is pretty warm, I'd say about 82 or 83 degrees.

So now we're just relaxing at "home" - I'm piddling around on the computer and reading and Ruthie is getting into the book I brought, "Lost & Found," which is a really good read. I'm about to catch the Season premiers on CBS, shows I missed all of last year because Tori had voice & dance on Monday nights. So, sadly, I'm excited about this! Now if there just weren't annoying political ads every other minute....November 6th can't come quickly enough!

More later...tomorrow will be the day to parasail as the weather is expected to only get gloomier as the week progresses.....Wish me luck.

1st Day of Vacation

2008-09-21T07:37:00.002-04:00

We're here in VA Beach, and relaxin' over coffee, listening to the sound of the waves right outside our window. The sunrise was obscured by clouds, but it was still lovely. We haven't ventured out onto the sand yet, but that's not too far off. There are quite a few people out there walking, and I think that Ruthie & I are about to go out and join them!

Walked the boardwalk and Atlantic Ave some last night. VA Beach sure has a different vibe than Rehoboth - much more urban. But it's the beach and that's all that matters.

We got pizza last night at this place that says they have the best pizza in town, and I believe it - it was delicious!

So, day one is underway. Who knows what adventures await.....more later!

Vacation prep, invisible fences, and the BEACH!

2008-09-20T07:07:00.002-04:00

True to form, Lucy woke me up at 6 a.m., even on Saturday. It's all good, though, 'cause the Invisible Fence guy is coming at 7:30 to give me an estimate. Then I have to pack, organize Lucy's stuff to go to Carol & Bob's, and see if I can manage to pack up SOME (but not too much) craft stuff so I can make some cards at the condo if the weather isn't favorable for beach lounging. I figure that card making isn't too supply-heavy if I manage it well.

So Ruthie and I are going to head out around 2 p.m. and meander down I-95 toward VA Beach. It is so nice to just have to worry about the 2 of us, not about 15 people total. I don't think we're going to know how to act! So, we've agreed to just float along this week and do what we feel like doing when we feel like doing it. No pressures, no expectations - just relaxation. I am sooo in need of this coming week!!!

I plan to take my laptop down, so if there's wi-fi, I'll be updating from down there. Otherwise, I'll "see" everyone when I get back!

Oh, DEER!!!

2008-09-18T17:25:00.003-04:00

Thanks to Gina for the title - yes, I hit a deer last night on my way home at about 10 p.m. - it was a big sucka, too. I saw its panicked face and I'm sure it saw mine...then BANG!!! It hit my passenger side front end. I kept driving, praying hard & fast "Please, God, let me get to a safe spot to pull over or make it home!!!!" I was relieved not to have blown my right front tire, but I could hear that something was dragging. The vehicle behind me was flashing its lights, but I was too afraid to pull over until I got somewhere well lit. And, since I had idiotically left my cell phone in my office, I wanted somewhere with a pay phone (there aren't many of THOSE around anymore!).

So, I limped along to the 7-11 in Libertytown. I'd hit the deer just past the Liberty Road Seafood place, so I was so happy to make it that far. The vehicle behind me pulled in, too, and checked to make sure I was OK, which was really nice of them. It was a young family, mom, dad & 2 young boys. The dad helped me disconnect the crud that was dragging - it was my running lights and grille. Another guy let me use his cell phone to call Tori. I told her that I'd hit a deer and if I didn't make it home in 10-15 minutes, please drive down Liberty Road and look for me to drive me home. She didn't recognize the guy's cell # on caller ID and so didn't pick up at first....I was about to panic.

I learned that I do not do well in a crisis situation. Bruce says I should've pulled over right away and put on my flashers. But there was no way I wanted to chance A) the car not starting up again once I stopped; B) being stranded on the dark roadside with no cell phone; C) having the vehicle behind me contain homocidal maniacs; D) seeing the injured deer writhing on the shoulder or staring deadly at me; or E) all of the above. So, I just kept going. The dad in the car behind me said that I was throwing up sparks the whole way and they were really worried. They were very kind.

So, I'm very sore on my left side, but otherwise OK. I was pretty shaken up. It could have been much, much worse. At least I didn't have Tori or Lucy with me - they likely would've been injured as it hit on that side of the car.

So, life goes on. The car is in the body shop so I have to drive the big butt truck for a day. No biggie except I suck at driving that monster. And it's harder to manage the wheel with my left arm while shifting because I drive it so seldom and it is such a stiff clutch. But I'll survive.

So, that's my big adventure for this week.....let's hope I have no more!

Tuesday

2008-09-16T06:27:00.003-04:00

is better than Monday, but still not late enough in the week! Especially this week, which stands between me and the sand 'tween my toes.

Back to School night was enlightening. I got to spend lots of $$$ on a yearbook, PTSA membership, and the PSAT fee. Plus Tori picked up class ring info - now there will be a chunk 0' change! She could have gotten a ring last year, but we felt like that should be a Junior year thing. It's weird - when I was in high school, it was a huge deal Junior year with a ring formal and everything. Now, they just get 'em whenever. And I'm not even sure that most people get class rings, do they? AND - Tori and I are having this battle: I say the stone should be in one of the school's colors, she says it's supposed to either be your birthstone or just a color you like. WHAT? This is tough for me to get my head around, but I want her to wear it if we're going to spend the money. Anyone else reading this have an opinion on it?

So I got to meet her teachers, and all but Laz are in their 50's or 60's I think. First year this has happened. I swear that her precalc teacher was about 12..... I can say that there is no way I could do her coursework. I'd be falling asleep in 4th period English (sorry, teach). Beowulf? UGH.

Well, I have to get my day moving along. Lucy just ate and needs a good long walk before I crate her for the day. I really don't want to go in to work today!!!!

Six days and counting...

2008-09-15T06:50:00.002-04:00

...until Ruthie and I leave for our week together in VA Beach. I just found out about a scrapbook store there, Beach Scrapbooks, that looks absolutely heavenly! Uh oh....and the owners/employees look like kooks, which is wonderful! I've enjoyed watching their posted videos. I think that I will fit right in there. Sorry, Bruce...

So, this week will be a bit hectic, I'm afraid, since Brandy is off and that leaves me in the Admissions role. I really should've left the house by now, but I'm dragging my feet terribly. I'll get there eventually.

Tonight is back to school night, so I'll meet Tori's teachers and get to spend some more time in the new building. I am sort of looking forward to it, actually. I want to ask her AP teachers some questions and the activities fair part is always fun. And this year it won't be in an un-airconditioned gym!!! So I won't sweat to death, which is always nice.

Well, on with my day....

Date Night

2008-09-14T08:31:00.003-04:00

Bruce and I had the first date night together in waaayyyy too long. We went to see Burn After Reading, the new Coen Bros film and really enjoyed it. It was a bit bazarre, much like a Seinfeld episode the way it twisted and turned back around to meet itself.

Brad Pitt was hysterical - I'm really not a big Pitt fan, but he made me laugh out loud constantly. It was extremely well cast, and so much fun. The ending was a bit abrupt, but then again it sort of fit in with the whole timbre of the movie.

Go see it!!!

So then we hit Barley & Hops for dinner. It was nice to relax, have a craft-brewed beer (I had nut brown - yum) and eat a quiet dinner. We got to talk some things out and try to understand each other better, which is always a good thing. After almost 22 years of marriage, things can be interesting, to say the least!

Then we got home to watch the Season Premiere of SNL - not worth it. Other than the opening skit, with Tina Fey as Palin and Amy Poehler as Hillary, it was really crappy. Michael Phelps had no decent material to work with and I didn't bother for long. Even Weekend Update fell flat. They're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than that to make it worth staying up so late. The puppy gets up at 5 or 6 even on weekends, so.....

that's it for now!

Gina + Sylvia + margaritas = a wonderful evening

2008-09-13T13:00:00.006-04:00

I hung out with two of my favorite people in the world, Gina & Syl last night at Syl's place in Columbia. We hadn't had time for a Margarita Night since - well, none of could remember, exactly...so it was long overdue. We try to do it at least every few months, but life is barrelling forward at a break-neck pace these days. The three of us all worked for the ACS at the same time several years ago. Gina and I met in 2000 when I was on the Frederick Relay For Life Committee as a volunteer and she was a staff person. We are both cancer survivors, diagnosed the same year (1998) so we clicked right away. She is truly the Lucy to my Ethel! It is her fault that I am a scrapbooking addict, and I love her for that.

I joined the ACS staff in March of 2001, and Sylvia did as well - we were in the same orientation group and discovered how much we had in common then. She worked in the Anne Arundel Co. office, so we didn't see each other extremely often, but when we got together we really enjoyed each others' company. One Friday after work in 2002, the three of us met at Chili's in Eldersburg for dinner & margaritas, and Margarita Night Was Born!!!

None of us now work for the ACS any longer, but we just love each other so much that we've kept the tradition going. Usually, we meet at Chilis, order three Presidente margaritas (one with salt, two without) and a queso skillet dip to share. Sometimes we eat dinner, sometimes not, but we ALWAYS end the evening with molten lava cake with 3 spoons...I've even scrapbooked this part!!! Anyway, last night Syl served us these decadent chocolate with vanilla ice cream bon-bons she got at Trader Joe's, and they were perfect at the end in place of lava cake! YUM!

So, I am still riding on the wave of happiness that I get when I'm with the two of them. They are amazing women, and I love 'em mucho!

Family Reunion Photo

2008-09-12T05:59:00.003-04:00

As I read back over my older blogs, I realized that I never did post a family reunion pic. So here it is!

Wow - it's been a while!

2008-09-12T05:36:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Lori for letting me know that I haven't updated in two weeks....been crazy around here! Nothing exciting, just the mundane every-day stuff that keeps me hopping.

Work has gotten really busy and is about to get busier: my colleague who directs the Admissions "department" (it's really only the two of us plus one other who helps out) is having her first baby and her last day will be Oct. 3 - she's resigned so she can stay home with him. Sooo....back to where I was two years ago when Lorna resigned. That time, it took a year to replace her. Pray for me that it isn't a year this time - I may not survive. I so much more enjoy the marketing and creative aspects of my job than the paperwork-laden admissions piece. And my title is Director of Marketing, so....yea, I don't like it when the admissions slot is open!

Top it all off with the fact that she's in a day-long training today and then on vacation next week, so for the next 6 weekdays I'm flying relatively solo. Marilyn will help me when she can, but she has other job responsibilities as well. Again - Pray for me!!!

Lucy went to work with me yesterday and my colleauge Paul, who adopted her sister Savannah, brought her in to visit. The two of them had a blast together! It was so darn cute. I took pics with my work camera, so as soon as I remember to e-mail those home to myself I'll post a couple.

Only thing keeping me really sane right now is the knowledge that a week in VA Beach is just a week away! Ahhhhh! Ruthie and I are going to spend one whole week as two adults without any kids at the BEACH! I can NOT wait!

Tori is assistant directing the Fall show at LHS - The Miracle Worker. Now that auditions were held yesterday, her schedule will get really busy as well. She sat in on auditions and she and Laz (the drama director) have an idea, I think, about things, but she will say nothing to me about any of it until the cast is announced. I'm really proud of her, and excited for the learning she'll be doing while experiencing this part of theatre work.

That's really about it. I do have more time in the evenings, but my volunteer work with FtP and actually spending some time cleaning the house eats away at my days. Tori continues to drive and I am more and more comfortable with it. Life goes on....

Reunion

2008-08-31T10:11:00.003-04:00

Tori and I are heading to Pasadena today to my cousin Jimmy's place for a reunion on the Murphy side of my family - my dad's siblings' kids and their kids (and their kids)...Cousins I normally only see at funerals. My sweet cousin Val, my other cousin Jimmy's wife, passed away suddenly in June and she had always tried to get us all together for a non-sad occasion. Somehow, we just were never able to find the time or the place. So, in her honor and memory, we're doing it. And I am soooo excited!

I have a lot of good memories of spending holidays with these cousins when I was little. We'd all meet at Grandma's on Bentlalou Rd in downtown Baltimore - a skinny rowhouse that we all crammed into. Or we'd have summer crab feasts down at her place on Solomon's Island. I can recall so clearly helping her pick tomatoes and cucumbers from her garden, and having to talk REALLY LOUDLY because she was hard of hearing. Only four of the seven children on that side had children themselves, and I have 14 or 15 cousins. So it's quite a crew. Magdeline had 3 boys, Paul six kids (three girls & three boys), Walter five or six (somehow, I can't exactly remember, which is sad) and Mom & Dad five (four surviving). I think that maybe 12 of us will be there today, many of our kids will be there, too, and some of my cousins' kids are now moms and dads themselves.

I'll surely have my camera at hand for the entire afternoon, and am so happy that I'll be able to do some scrapbook pages featuring this extended family. We never all get together on mom's side anymore, either. There are only two surviving siblings on that side, and they don't speak to each other. Though every one of mom's six siblings had kids, so it's a larger group. Plus mom has an uncle younger than she is, so most of her mother's nieces & nephews are part of family functions that do occur on that side. It's a Major MOB when we all do get together.

Anyway, here's to beautiful August days (the last one of 2008) and fun with family....

We all survived

2008-08-25T19:02:00.004-04:00

Tori survived her 1st day of 11th grade, I survived Monday at work, and Lucy survived a full day at Citizens with me. She is so wild in the morning and then just crashes in the afternoon. She's dead asleep on the sofa right next to me now. Here are a couple of pics.

The saddest day of the year for school kids

2008-08-24T16:12:00.002-04:00

So school starts tomorrow, which means that today is full of angst. Tori had two girlfriends, Shelby & Rachael, over last night and they were all complaining mightily about how quickly the summer went by. It's hard for me to believe that she's starting her Junior year of high school - half-way through her LHS years. The new school is ready for the kids to get there, and it is lovely. But even the prospect of a brand new building isn't making it any easier for her to be ready to go back to school. I think that once the excitement of the fall show, football games, dances, and being with her friends every day builds, she'll be fine.

I spent a lot of time this weekend getting my scrapbook room organized and found out just how much scrap paper I have shoved into nooks & crannies in there. Now it's all organized, so I can use many of those scraps to make cards with my new Cricut machine (yes, I broke down and bought one...). So between the three QuiKutz machines I own and the Cricut, I'm really well set to do die cutting of letters & shapes. It's a lot of fun to play around with all of it, and now I actually have space in there to create.

Time to do a little bit of R&R to prep for a new work week....more later!

Movin' right along

2008-08-20T05:26:00.002-04:00

And it's mid-week already. It's been a relatively quiet week, but that's about to change as I'm taking Lucy to Citizens with me today, which is always lively! Everyone loves all over her and is happy when she's with me. I have several presentations to make today, and a FtP Board meeting tonight, so Tori will drive in to Frederick and pick her up mid-day sometime.

She's really enjoying her newfound freedom. Even if she can just run up to 7-11 to get a needed grocery item or get herself to Travis' house so he doesn't have to come 10 miles east and then head 15 miles back west into Frederick, she's feeling so much more mobile. Which is nice for both of us.

We gave Lucy a bath yesterday, which was an adventure. She hates the water! But she's now fluffy and clean and presentable. I didn't realize how dirty she had become until I saw the bath water - yuk.

More to come when there's something exciting to write about...or not.

Monday, Monday

2008-08-18T06:08:00.002-04:00

Can't trust that day!

Oh how I dislike Mondays (unless they're Holidays and extend my weekend...) Back to the grind. I really need to get moving, but am simply not motivated. The weather is nice & cool, the day is stretching out before me, and I hate the idea of having to be at Citizens all day. Though I do love my job as a rule, I don't love the idea of HAVING to be there when I'd rather be elsewhere.

Lucy has learned to climb the steps up to our 2nd floor, which is presenting a whole new set of problems for us. Anyone have a baby gate they're not using?? It would be OK except she makes a beeline for underneath my bed, where God knows what is lurking. Something good to a puppy must be under there or she wouldn't be so fascinated. Mostly, I worry about her having an accident on the carpet - at least on this level it's all laminate or ceramic. Eay to clean up if she piddles.

I guess my life is pretty good right now. Busy, but why wouldn't I want it to be? Nothing much to write about....see ya' later!

going, going....gone

2008-08-15T18:52:00.002-04:00

Wow - my baby girl is about to pull out of the driveway on her first solo drive since getting her license this afternoon. She's just going about 2 miles down the road, to her friend Barbara's for an overnight....but man, is my heart ever hammering in my chest....I am having a harder time than I expected.

I am watching out the front window for the car to approach the road at the driveway's end.....I hear the motor approaching....there it is.....there she goes. I saw the turn signal, so she's learned her lessons well. That's all I can hope for. She's the first of her core group of friends from elementary & middle school to get her license. It's nice that I'm not having to stop everything to run her up and then get up and look decent to go pick her up in the morning. But I've asked her to call me when she gets there safely, in about 3 minutes. She thinks this is silly, but....

OH MAN - a siren is blaring outside - emergency vehicle about to race by....an ambulance, heading in the same direction she just headed. I hope she doesn't panic and has room on the 2-lane road to pull over to let it by. Wow. Another lesson to be learned, I guess. Am now waiting for the phone to ring, as I will many, many more times in my life, to let me know she's arrived safely at her destination.

The waiting is a killer. I told her this evening, when she was getting ready to go, that I am feeling things I knew I likely would but I really didn't expect. Sadness at this next step away from me, from our family life, from Unionville. She said "You have another two years, mom!", which seems like a lifetime to her, but feels like two days to me. Yes, I replied, but this license - it's a BIG deal, a big break. She'll now be going her own separate way much more often than she'll be by my side. And that's harder than I thought it would be to realize. Harder. Unbelieveable. I haven't cried yet, but I know it's coming.

It's been three minutes, and no phone call yet....four minutes.....five.....ring, phone, ring!,,,fifteen minutes later, I have to dial her cell.....six rings after that, she answers. "I forgot," she says. She's lucky I couldn't reach through the phone and throttle her! Short discussion about importance of calling me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or ELSE!!!!! Sheesh. So this is how it's going to be.

I will be lucky to get out of this alive.........

Home, Exhausted, and Happy

2008-08-14T17:01:00.002-04:00

We got home late last night. I was going to work half a day, but that went out the window. Tori and I walked the equivalent of 5-6 miles yesterday, after we walked about that far on Tuesday (including climbing 3 flights of VERY steep stairs to a secret room full of knock-off Coach purses on Canal Street). Our feet & legs are killing us! But it was all worth it.

Here are a few pictures from our trip. The Little Mermaid was about the best B'way show I've ever seen. I mean the full experience was so amazing - sets, costumes, props, etc... And to go backstage and see the way everything is organized was really cool. The space is extremely limited, so they use the walls, and even the rafters, to keep sets & props out of the way until they need them. During the backstage door, we only got to meet Sean, who plays Prince Eric, Merwyn, who is in the Ensemble, and Betsy, who understudied for Carlotta. Everyone else was flying out of there to get home. Unfortunately, the two women who star - Sierra Boggess (Ariel) and Sherrie Renee Scott (Ursula), didn't stick around or sign. But we weren't complaining. We decided to "stage door" on Wednesday after the matinee, and we got several autographs, but the two of them didn't come out while we were out there. We stood there for an hour until they dismantled the baracades.

We also did our first college visit, to Marymount Manhattan. Both Tori and I loved it. The academic and administrative buildings are in a very nice part of Manhattan, not far at all from Central Park. The dorms are about a 20 minute walk away, but again, the neighborhoods through which the students travel are safe enough. I was impressed with the staff and stuents we met, and the facilities are beautiful - the theatre seats 449 and is simply beautiful. So, now we just have to figure out how on earth we'd be able to afford it. We'll visit some other schools as well, but I'm afraid that she's hooked. And while I wanted to hate it, I have to say I didn't. So that's a problem! The idea that she could study so close to so many opportunities is so amazing. We'll just have to see.

So it's back to work tomorrow, for just one day before the weekend. Then I don't have a break until I go to VA Beach w/Ruthie in September. OK, so I'm kind of spoiled....oh well!

getting excited about NYC!

2008-08-11T07:36:00.002-04:00

So, I just found out that the Prince in The Little Mermaid will be our tourguide for our backstage tour! How cool is that?!?!? This will truly be a once in a lifetime trip, no matter how many times we go to NYC. We'll be sitting in "house seats" - not sure how good they are. They're the seats that cast members can buy for family & friends, so they're probably pretty sweet. The guy who set this all up owns a local Frederick restaurant and has performed on Broadway - early on in the cast of LesMis as Enrojlas (sp?) - so he knows a lot of people and can get amazing things done. So, we are getting REALLY excited. Well, I am - Tori is still asleep, but I can't wait to tell her all of this!

Watch for pics etc... when we return. I'm tempted to take my laptop up, but don't feel like lugging it around most of the day on Tuesday before check-in.

Breaking Dawn - the jury is out

2008-08-10T06:15:00.002-04:00

OK, so I finished and (SPOILER ALERT....)

Edward is NOT dead!!

So a lot of the book really, really annoyed me. The characters are somewhat cloying, self-absorbed, and waaayayyy too.....too......self-sacrificing, which I know contradicts self-absorbed, but it's true - they're both at once, which is one of the issues I have with it. Bella needs to get a life (no pun intended) and I am sort of sorry she doesn't get her comuppance (or however you spell that). She is just so sickenely good and really quite boring, even with her special powers (oops, let that spoiler slip out...)

Anyway, I am glad that's over with. I had to read the whole thing and see for myself. Truly, I wish I'd stopped with Twilight. THAT was a good book.

Parts of BD were interesting - the part written from Jacob's point of view was better. And I guess I wanted to know the outcome or I would've stopped half-way through. But it just isn't a very well written book. Lots of repetition, character names are stupid (Renesmee - WHAT?), and the concepts are so far-fetched it's almost beyond beyond.

Plus, I read on the author's webpage that, when she "ruled" over some recent book "concerts" - yes, seriously, that's what they called them! - she set up some pretty irksome rules, like:

If you didn't have one of the books, you couldn't be in line for autographs - no signed t-shirts, body parts (uck), papers, posters - nothing but books, and you could only have her sign ONE book.
You could not take pictures of her signing (now that's a scrapbooker's nightmare!)
there were other things that annoyed me that I can't remember, but they were pretty draconian (now there's irony for ya').

Anyway, if you're a fan, you probably loved it. If not, and you want to see what all the fuss is about, read Twilight and STOP THERE! It's a good book. The others are just too much Bella. She is a pain in the butt, really.

So, that's my assessment. Now, off to work....

should be sleeping...

2008-08-09T03:55:00.002-04:00

I came home from work today exhausted, so I laid down to read some of Breaking Dawn and fell asleep at something like 5:30 p.m. and woke up at 9:00 - oops. Went back to bed at about 11 and now I'm wide awake at 3:56. Crap. This won't work very well as I have to work Sat. & Sun. - one of my 4 weekends a year (which doesn't sound too bad until they're actually here and I have to work them!)

As for Breaking Dawn...sheesh. Very annoying, really. Bella is seriously getting on my nerves - no one is that much of a martyr and that perfect, OK? I wish that both Edward & Jacob would see the light and dump the biatch. Of course, I'll keep reading and finish the darn book. Because now I have to see if theKevinCole is right about Edward....(sigh)....

Lucy is so tired she's not even responding to me being here in the living room with her in the crate next to me. She went to work with me on Friday and wore herself out. You have to see her in action there to understand - everyone just loves her! The residents, visitors & staff all take her from me to go all around the facility and visit. She plays tug-0-war, runs around the courtyard, and generally gets so much love that she's exhausted when she gets home. Pretty nice for a puppy's life, I'd say!

Well, I'm going to try to get another 90 minutes of sleep before I have to get up to get in at a decent hour so I can get out early-ish. 'til later.....

I've got my laptop back (laptopback, laptopback, laptopback...)

2008-08-06T20:50:00.002-04:00

Yeeha! posting from a familiar laptop!

Too bad there's not much new to talk about. Mattress is FINISHED and the cast party was a blast. Working this weekend, so that will suck. But then 3+ days off, two of them in NYC, so I have that to look forward to.

Tori and Travis are at the Lbtytwn Carnival. We went Monday night and took Maggie and saw a bunch of folks that we haven't seen since school let out, which is always fun. It's always interesting to walk around up at the annual Carnival and just observe people. I also love playing bingo and tip jars...I actually won some decent dough this year "-)

I'm trying to get Mattress costumes laundered and ready to take to the studio tomorrow evening to wrap things up on that front. Tori cleaned her room, so there are piles upon piles of dirty laundry downstairs that she has to take care of by tomorrow or lose her laptop & ipod for 4 days...let's see how that works out, shall we?

Always something to threaten her with. Why do I always have to be the mean mom?!?!??

End of an era

2008-08-03T11:13:00.002-04:00

Well, not really an era, per se, but at least the end of a show that has overtaken our lives for the summer. I will be very glad when the curtain closes on "Mattress" this afternoon. Then, after strike (which will not be fun, I tell you), we get to swim and party at the McCarthy's in Jefferson. Should be a good time. The stress should be dissipating even as the party is being held.

Next thing to look forward to is NYC on the 12th & 13th of August. Little Mermaid, behind the scenes tour, and (I am hoping) the Today Show on the 13th - watch that morning to see if I make it on camera. This time, I'm going to make some sort of clever sign. I have no idea on what topic, but I hope it makes them take notice and put me on camera!

Otherwise, nothing new to report. Lucy is growing quickly, and once I get my own computer back (i'm using Tori's Mac to post this) I'll put some new pictures up. Bo is rubbing on the laptop screen, marking it as his, so I guess it's time to shut down. 'Til later...

It is not good to drop a laptop

2008-07-31T15:41:00.003-04:00

UPDATE: Well, the hard drive went, and it has a parasite. They said that dropping it didn't help, but didn't cause the damage, either. I'll have my laptop back by Monday at the latest...I guess I'll survive. Until then....

ORIGINAL POST:

My laptop dropped off of the sofa last Sunday, and is now in the shop. On Monday, when I dropped it off, they told me they'd be back to me on Tuesday....it is now Thursday and I haven't heard from them. This frightens me immensely, and can not be good!!!

So, I'm not online as much or able to do many updates. Not much is new, however, so it's not really a big loss to the blogosphere to have fewer posts from moi for now!

Show this weekend - come see it! Friday and Saturday at 8, Sunday at 2 - FCC's theatre. It's cute, I promise!

saying goodbye

2008-07-24T16:06:00.004-04:00

My very favorite resident, whom I have loved since meeting her almost 3 years ago, passed on this afternoon. Luckily, I had been in to see her this morning since I knew her time was short, and I got to tell her one last "I Love You." This is the hardest part of working in a nursing home.

Miss Doris reminded me so very much of mom & Granny. Stubborn, funny, engaging, loving, and just full of herself. Her one daughter used to bring her dogs, Maggie & Milo, in with her during visits, and her other daughter and granddaughter (and great-grandson, Bryce) were here most days. I have become really close to all of them, and this is so damn hard. The tears won't stop and yet I have to finish up my work day.

Miss Doris, I do love you so and know that you're now pain-free and in a much happier place. Memories of the time we got to spend together will be among my most cherished. Say hi to my mom for me, will ya'? *mwah*

Wow...it's been a week

2008-07-24T07:28:00.002-04:00

I haven't been posting much because here's what it would say - every day:

I am exhausted. I hate Tech Week. How in the Hell did I allow myself to be roped into this? blah, blah, blah....

So, rather than bore all of you with that mantra, I just haven't been on. But the show opens tomorrow night, I haven't killed any of the divas, and I am proud that I've been able to contribute to this show. It's all good.

Work continues to be very busy and more than a little stressful. The person who (finally) came on board last November as the Director of Admissions & Social Work submitted her resignation yesterday. She's having her first baby in November and hasn't had a particularly easy pregnancy, so she'll be leaving October 3rd. That racheted up my stress level, but I am happy for her and her husband. If any of you reading this know any licensed clinical social workers who might love to work for Citizens (and with me pretty closely), please tell them to get in touch with me!!!

Otherwise, come see Mattress. It's been a wild ride, with a lot of challenges throughout pre-production, but it's turning out to be quite a cute and impressive show. Visit www.fredericktowneplayers.org to find out more and learn how to reserve tickets. Show opens this weekend and continues next weekend.

Ciao!

I'm more than halfway there...

2008-07-17T05:19:00.002-04:00

Through 8 days of a grueling 15 day workday stretch of insanity. I don't count weekends in there because at least then I can sleep past 5 a.m. - and I can take naps! Only two more days of combined driver's ed/Mattress rehearsals/Lucy at work with me in the afternoon craziness...then Tech Week craziness sets in. But that only lasts 4 days and then the show opens. So I'm in the home stretch....

Thankfully, Jesse Daniel is going to keep Lucy in the evenings next week for us. She can't go to the FCC theatre like she's been going to the FtP studio, and I dreaded crating her from 5:30ish until 11ish every night...she'd never have slept at night that way. So Jesse will let her run around his huge yard or come over here to play with her or a combo of both, and earn some $$$ in the process. And I'll have both puppy peace of mind and sleep for a few hours every night next week. Midnight 'til 5 for a whole work week = one cranky pain in the butt Margie. Oh well.

I wonder what my life will be like in a month or so when Tori can drive? What, oh what, will occupy my time?!??! I guess then I'll be expected to actually dust, vacuum, and have a decently clean house. Yuk. I'd rather be scrapbooking!!!

On to another day...

Sick - blech

2008-07-14T07:29:00.002-04:00

stomach pain + fever + uckies = no work for me today. Of course, Tori can't miss driver's ed or rehearsal, so I'll have to run around later anyway. Am hoping I'm feeling much better because if I feel like this, driving is gonna be a whole lotta fun....yuk.

One week down, two to go

2008-07-11T06:17:00.002-04:00

It's been a crazy busy week, but it's ending, thank goodness! Tori will finish her first full week of Driver's Ed today and I think that she's getting more out of it than either of us imagined she would. Yesterday, the instructor had them stand out by Motter Avenue and just observe drivers' habits. And let me tell you, she says it wasn't pretty! No turn signals, people not observing road rules in the least. It was a great idea and a great lesson. She says that most people just stared at the group of kids alongside the road, taking their eyes off of the road far longer than safe. Wow.

Rehearsals for Mattress are going pretty well. The show should be cute. I'm helping with costuming, which is a huge stretch for me. As Bruce accurately observed I am not nor have I ever been a "Becky Home-Ec-y" and at age 44 I should know by now how to say NO when asked to do something I really don't want to do. But I remain, as ever, an idiot.

I continue to enjoy Lucy every day. She has been going into Citizens with me in the afternoons while Tori is in driver's ed, and she is a big hit with everyone. She is just such a happy, lovable girl. The residents smile and just ooh and aah over her cuteness. How can anyone be unhappy around a warm puppy???

Well, I have to run and get in to the facility. Maybe they'll have a bed for me to take a nap in today...... Well, one can always dream, can't one?!??

Fireworks!

2008-07-06T08:22:00.005-04:00

I was finally able to steal fireworks pics from Tori's Facebook, so here they are. Jim & Jesse sure know how to pick 'em! Much less stressful than trying to find parking at Frederick's Fourth. And we had shelter from the drizzle as well. And Jim & Jesse know what they're doing - don't try this at home!

Hope everyone reading this (All 3 or 4 of you!) had a great weekend. Alas, it is Sunday, the final hoorah before a full work week. Sad that I so look forward to the weekends. And this coming Friday is a long overdue margarita night with my two phenominal friends Syl & Gina. I can't wait to see them!!!

Celebrating Independence Day

2008-07-05T06:26:00.005-04:00

We had a great time at the Misner's last night. Good friends, good food, good fireworks = good fun!

I went to take the memory card out of Tori's camera because she has the cool "fireworks" setting so I used her camera to take pics of the fireworks Jesse shot off. However, she has already deleted the pics off of the memory card, even though I asked her not to....I'magonna have something to say to her about that when her sorry butt gets out of bed today!!! I wanted to put some of them up on the blog here, but that will have to wait.

Ms. Lucy joined us for the festivities last night, and boy was she ever worn out when we got home. Straight into her crate and asleep before we could shut the door. She was a big hit - everyone loved all over her and even Maggie Mae (the Misner's Irish Setter) tolerated her pretty well.

I feel so lucky to have the people in my life that I do - and to be living a good life. Ahhhhh.....

Thank God for Holiday Weekends!

2008-07-03T22:00:00.002-04:00

Finally, it's 10 p.m. on the eve of a three-day Holiday weekend. Hooray! I can sleep in tomorrow (well, to the extent to which Lucy allows it) and take a nap if I need to. I do have to do mondo house cleaning as I have let everything go wayyyyy too long. But it shouldn't take too long to do that, really.

I spent the time while Tori was in rehearsal tonight taking Lucy to PetSmart and then to Baker Park to hang out for awhile. She is worn out and sleeping soundly in her crate. She met lots of new doggie & human friends on our adventures. I really enjoy hanging out with her in the evenings.

Bruce got home right when we did. He said there was an accident on I-95 which held him up, so he's beat. It is always nice to have him back home after a 4.5 day absence. We plan to spend some family time tomorrow evening at the Misners celebrating Independence Day. We always enjoy our time over there so much, it's very relaxing and peaceful. And there are always gin & tonics & good beer "-)

So, time to relax a bit. This week at work wasn't too terrible, but it was hectic enough. No matter how much I love my work, a bad day at home is better than a good day working!!

Another vacation, please?!?!?

2008-07-01T17:09:00.002-04:00

Well, two days back in the office and I'm ready for another vacation. It doesn't help that Tori has rehearsal every single weeknight (only Fridays and weekends off) for Mattress. That means I get a whopping total of 2-3 waking hours at home every day. The rest of my time is at work or driving or at the studio. It stinks.

Tori is dating a new guy, Travis, and we've known him for quite a few years, so it's nice that I don't have to wonder what the guy is like. I am not sure how to handle this dating stuff. The drama. The heartbreak. The stress. He's very kind and treats her well, so I guess I will try not to worry too much.

So tonight it's getting Tori to rehearsal, then grocery shopping, then getting home to get Lucy out of the crate. I had just enough time home after work to make a pot of chili & gulp dinner down.

On to the next thing.....

Re-entry into the post-vacation world

2008-06-29T14:47:00.003-04:00

My house is dirty - needs a good cleaning. I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping and messing around on the computer. That's a problem.

Old episodes of Scrubs are on, and I am realizing what a good show I've been missing all these t.v. seasons. Good Sunday afternoon lazy activity, watching Scrubs re-runs!

I have to head back to Citizens tomorrow, and I made the mistake of calling to check my voicemail mssages a few minutes ago. BIG mistake. Some of my colleagues really have to get a clue. Others have a clue and are wonderful to work with, but the one leaving me messages.....yea - no clue. So now I'm stressing about getting back in there. Not good. I have to let it go. At least this is a short week with Independence Day on Friday.

So, this blog features a few more pics from the beach. I need to find the disc I made and get some prints made so I can start a scrapbook. Maybe that's what the long Independence Day weekend will be -- a perfect opportunity to get some cropping done.

We're meeting Claudia & Jer in Eldersburg a bit later for dinner. I haven't seen them in several weeks, and it will be nice to catch up. I also need to do the mundane - make a grocery list, stock up on basics, etc.... From vacation to day-to-day so quickly. Man.

Since when does it take 8 hours to get from Rehoboth to Unionville?!?!?

2008-06-28T21:53:00.003-04:00

Since Tori's car is old and overheated and needed to be towed to Roche in Libertytown. Yes, it was a fun-filled ride home. No drama until we stopped for gas in Clarksville. Pulling away from the pump, I noticed that the temperature gauge was awfully far toward the red section. Crap. Call Bruce, ask what to do. Then the girls see a Jiffy Lube and we pull in. They take a look, replace some coolant, say it's either the thermostadt or the water pump. I should not drive home the remaining 33 miles unless I stop every so often to dump water on the engine. OhhhhhKaaayyyy....

We go get 3 gallons of water from a convenience store/gas station. They have a car repair shop there, but it closes at 1 on Saturday and it's now 2. Crap again. I call Bruce back, and he's hesitant for me to try the drive and drench method of keeping the car cool enough. Meanwhile, a guy who is a mechanic comes over to take a look, declares it's the thermostadt (thank goodness, much cheaper than a water pump...) A $2 part, it's "right there" (he points to the location near the engine). I call Bruce back and ask if he wants to buy the thermostadt and drive out to Clarksville to see if he can install it. He says sure. We hunker down to wait.

He arrives, and the thermostadt is NOT "right there" - we look everywhere it should be and can not find where the old one is/new one should go. I call a tow truck, and while I wait (ultimately about 75 minutes) for it to arrive to tow the car to Libertytown, Bruce rescues the girls and gets them home (thank goodness - they were getting antsy). So, 6 p.m. arrival at home it is. $207 later. Crap a third time.

But, I'm home. We had a most amazing week in Rehoboth. Perfect weather (well, all but one day). Perfect company. Perfect down time from work. Perfect in most every way. Above are a few of my very favorite pictures from among the 400 or so now on my computer. More on my Facebook, so go check 'em out. I still have to make another album becaue the limit is 60 pictures and I had too many I wanted to put up.

Oh, and on the drive my driving (left) arm got a terrible sunburn. It hurts! And Lucy had doubled in size in just one short week. We just went and picked her up from Carol & Bob's in Creagerstown. She seems glad to be home, but she looks so much more like an adult dog....

More later after I drink my gin & tonic and get some sleep......

Sun & Fun

2008-06-26T17:57:00.003-04:00

I am rested and relaxed, and hopeful that these feelings will carry over into my life in general once I get back home.

The beach is just so lovely this week. Blue skies + hot temps + cold water = my kinda place. We have had a few exciting moments with 10 teenagers in the house, but overall it is always nice to see them laughing and getting along so well. We all went out to dinner at Jake's last night and it was great to drink Mojitos and have my best friend here on her birthday. We figured out that the last time we spent more than a few hours together was 5 years ago when we celebrated our 40th b-days together. It was more than overdue.

I've gotten a bit of a sunburn, but nothing too terrible. Most days, I'm spending between five and eight hours on the beach, so even the best sunscreen, staying under the umbrella, and wearing my wide-brimmed hat can't prevent all sun exposure. Plus, I have to admit, I sort of like having tan arms! Well, tan for me....nothing compared to Sharon and Avery, who tan when they just look at the sun for 5 minutes...

We'll be home soon, and I'll post pics then. I've taken some amazing pictures this year. I think I'll even enter a few in the Great Frederick Fair this year!

Paradise

2008-06-23T11:58:00.003-04:00

We arrived, around 2 a.m. on Sunday morning, and have been in relax mode ever since.

I'm sitting on the screened in porch using Avery's laptop to update the blog. For some reason, I can't get a connection on my PC but everyone else is managing to connect. So at least I have some way to update - yea!

Can I just say that the water is FREEZING! When I immerse all but my head, it actually takes my breath away for a few minutes. Then everything goes numb. Today, we've had showers and thunderstorms, so were only out on the beach about an hour or so before we cleared out. Today will be a town/boards/house kind of day, I guess. If I can get to an internet cafe somewhere to connect and put photos up I will. I've gotten some really good shots of the girls in the water and on the beach.

Am trying to read some books, but none are capturing my attention very well. It's frustrating as I want to beach read so badly! But at least I have the sea air, the salt water, and the sand between my toes to calm me every day. More later!

Anger & Threats - resolved

2008-06-21T10:48:00.003-04:00

Tori is quickly angling to stay home and not go to the beach after all. It just may happen. Seriously.

OK, she redeemed herself. She was thiiisss close to staying home to pet sit while I enjoyed a week at Rehoboth.

Lucy is dropped off and now we just have to get all of our crap crammed into her car. And perfom in/sit through a two-hour or so recital. And survive a 3+ hour drive in the wee hours. And....then.....

RELAX. BREATHE. AHHHHHHH!