Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's been forever

since I posted anything. Facebook has overtaken my cyberspace life, I guess. And it has been very busy at work and with Tori's involvement in the LHS show, which ran last week/weekend.

Thanksgiving is already here - how weird! Time is just flying by. We're going to spend Thanksgiving with my family at Tim & Lisa's, and I'm really looking forward to it. Maybe it will help me clear my head of all the crap running through it as a result of Tori's student directing experience. Enough said in such a public forum...enough said in general. I have to let that poisonous stuff go!

Work remains very busy. The Frederick County Commissioners keep throwing around the possibility of privitizing the facility, which would be a huge mistake. But there it is, cropping up in the newspapers every now & then. So it's up to my colleagues and me to keep on keepin' on and do our best work to show them why we need a governmentally owned/run nursing home in Frederick. I do love my job, and the residents. Their families can be challenging, but what families aren't?!? They're facing giving over their loved one's care to us, strangers, and they're scared, or feeling guilty. They don't understand a lot of what goes into taking care of an ailing person. The payment system is complicated, and they are worried about paying for it all. I'd be a pain in the butt, too!

Anyway, between work and home, life is full. And I have to remember that it's generally a good life. Sure, there are bumps in the road. The hardest thing is overcoming the urge to protect Tori from all of the negative stuff. I can't - and shouldn't - do so. The sooner she realizes that there are people out there who you thought you could trust that will turn on you, or those who are supposed to help but hurt, the stronger she'll become. She's already learned lessons at age 16 that I didn't learn until I was in my 30's. I've told her that, and am trying to help her move forward. But I have to let go and move forward myself in order to help her. So onward I go......

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

split personality

November 1, miss Tori before she's gone....November 2, wish Tori was on her own, her crappy attitude with her...November 3, ???

Which relationship will prevail today? The mom wants daughter by her side forever or mom would like to shove daughter out of the nest head-first? Hmmmmm....I wonder.....

We went to the Fine & Performing Arts College Fair in D.C. yesterday, which precipitated much of the above angst. She was surly and ungrateful that I spent one of only two days I get off each week there for HER while she barely spoke to any college reps or took info from any schools. She got mad at me for naming schools as we passed the booths - it was crowded and it was hard to see what schools were where, so as I could see the sign, I turned back and told her what was ahead. That really annoyed her. So I gave her the boot - I went and sat and waited for her to finish her foray through the aisles. Which took all of 3 minutes because she wouldn't talk to anyone without me with her. She is driving me nuts!!!!!

Anyway, she did pick up info from two promising schools - one in Hartford, CT and one on Staten Island. She is bound & determined to be in/near NYC which, as long as they offer a good financial aid package, will work for me. She wouldn't even pick info up from UMBC, which has a great program - discounted it right off the bat. I understand, because I wouldn't originally have even considered it, but they have a wonderful program and offer a lot of aid. She simply seems to have no real grasp on what a difference it can make to graduate from college without a mountain of debt. Well, if she owes $80,000 upon graduation, it will be her debt, not ours, I guess.

Soooo.....I really need to get my butt in gear and get in to work. Later!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

It's November 1st, so the first words I said this morning are in the title of this blog. We need all the good luck we can get in 3 days when voters go to the polls. Please, God. Please.

Halloween was fun, as usual - my favorite Holiday. Tori is peeved at me because of the creepy clown doll I hung in the linen closet and then put in her purse. But come on - it was Halloween! She'll get me back eventually, and I'm an easy scare.

Lucy went to work with me in her ladybug costume, and I dressed as a butterfly - well, I wore wings and deely-bopper thingies on my head. She was a big hit. It was one of the busiest days I've had in recent memory, and I was glad to get the heck out of dodge and get home to the trick-or-treaters....

Now, we used to get 100 or so kids come by, but last night, we had maybe 20 or 25 if we were lucky. Tibby (Tori's final day-care mom) came with her four kids, and they were adorable. Her youngest turns 1 today, and last year, she had her mucho pregnant tummy painted like a jack-o-lantern! Melissa is such a cutie, as are Jack, Grace & Dawson. So we had a Hannah Montana come by, several princesses, an adorable St. Bernard (Mandy, age 1 1/2, from next-door), and a variety of other spooks & goblins.

November is here...weird. Time is just flying. Thanksgiving is a mere 4 weeks away, the Christmas. Tori is ever closer to her Senior year and then college. Last night I got a taste of how independent she's becoming. She and I have always done Halloween together - getting her ready in costume, handing out treats, and seeing her off to trick-or-treat here in Unionville. But not this year. She wore her costume to school, had rehearsal until 5, then drove over to Siobhan's house in Woodspring to hang out with friends and trick-or-treat in Woodspring and The Meadows. Didn't get home until after 9:30. I truly missed her being with me. And the years when she won't be with me at all are speeding toward me at an alarming rate. Who knew I'd be so sad? I've been saying for years that it's the natural order of things and, if I'm doing my parenting job well, we'll both be ready for her to fly away. Well, I lied! I will miss her terribly. There, I said it. Teen attitude and all, she is my baby. And I already miss her. *sniff* *sniff*