Friday, August 15, 2008

going, going....gone

Wow - my baby girl is about to pull out of the driveway on her first solo drive since getting her license this afternoon. She's just going about 2 miles down the road, to her friend Barbara's for an overnight....but man, is my heart ever hammering in my chest....I am having a harder time than I expected.

I am watching out the front window for the car to approach the road at the driveway's end.....I hear the motor approaching....there it is.....there she goes. I saw the turn signal, so she's learned her lessons well. That's all I can hope for. She's the first of her core group of friends from elementary & middle school to get her license. It's nice that I'm not having to stop everything to run her up and then get up and look decent to go pick her up in the morning. But I've asked her to call me when she gets there safely, in about 3 minutes. She thinks this is silly, but....

OH MAN - a siren is blaring outside - emergency vehicle about to race by....an ambulance, heading in the same direction she just headed. I hope she doesn't panic and has room on the 2-lane road to pull over to let it by. Wow. Another lesson to be learned, I guess. Am now waiting for the phone to ring, as I will many, many more times in my life, to let me know she's arrived safely at her destination.

The waiting is a killer. I told her this evening, when she was getting ready to go, that I am feeling things I knew I likely would but I really didn't expect. Sadness at this next step away from me, from our family life, from Unionville. She said "You have another two years, mom!", which seems like a lifetime to her, but feels like two days to me. Yes, I replied, but this license - it's a BIG deal, a big break. She'll now be going her own separate way much more often than she'll be by my side. And that's harder than I thought it would be to realize. Harder. Unbelieveable. I haven't cried yet, but I know it's coming.

It's been three minutes, and no phone call yet....four minutes.....five.....ring, phone, ring!,,,fifteen minutes later, I have to dial her cell.....six rings after that, she answers. "I forgot," she says. She's lucky I couldn't reach through the phone and throttle her! Short discussion about importance of calling me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or ELSE!!!!! Sheesh. So this is how it's going to be.

I will be lucky to get out of this alive.........

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